edward fox’s reality

It’s been a @#$%ty week– leave me alone Rated TV-14 for Mature Language.

Wheeeeeeee. I’ve had an odd week, so I’m going to show you what I wrote about three days ago but didn’t publish it… Enjoy.

I love how people switch their sexuality overnight, or something.

I’m thoroughly disappointed, if I do say so myself. And that’s me saying it lightly.

Ehhh… At least I got someone’s number at Best Buy (a customer)… hawt.

—

Whoa, how disturbing. I randomly found this block of text in someone’s AIM profile that I never talk to.
~~~
Don’t tease if you can’t please.
Don’t say if you’re not ready to play.
~~~

It _almost_ sounds wrong, but when you think about it, it seems to serve its purpose well–Represent. Represent yourself, and what you are.

So why does no one seem to be doing that lately? Today is a pretty shitty day, if I do say so myself. Let me give you the awesome rundown.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to find someone to go out with, and unfortunately, I haven’t had much luck. Too bad, right? It’s just the fact that people act like they want to go out with me, but then they don’t follow through with what they say, and it’s really starting to get on my nerves. I really did lose it today– I did. I was walking down the hall with Tara and her friend (Mary) and I was just talking about what had recently happened, right. Suddenly, I just felt this rediculously strong urge to start yelling, and one of the things I yelloed [edited from ’said’) was “I fucking hate guys” … and at that exact moment, I did.

I realize that everyone’s trying to please themselves. That’s something humans are excellent at. As long as you satisfy yourself, no one else can get hurt, right?

What if you’re like me, and you try your hardest to put other people before you? You do your best to not let other people down, and you put fourth the most effort to keep them happy… I’m not going to sound emo and say, “What’s the point of it all?” or “Does it even matter?”… but, I do have a question.

Is there a point to it all, and does it even matter?

I had to do it. I really did. I just cannot deal with the fact that everyone just wants to be my friend, and if they don’t want to be my friend, they want to make out with me, then say “Hey, I realized that God will automatically send me to Hell if I am not straight, so I will change my sexuality and then be able to enter into Heaven.” I talked to my religious friends (Brandi and Tim–they’re going out; what a surprise) and they both said there is no “Automatic” ticket to Hell. I didn’t discuss the issue with either of them any deeper because it seemed relatively pointless. Why continue an issue if the possibility of people benefiting from it diminishes with each passing second that the delusion person has to think about it?

Is there a point to it all?

Maybe there is. I’m certainly trying to find it. I just feel alone when I am not going out with anyone. Certainly I’ll find a way to occupy myself, and entertain myself, and try to keep me happy…

—————

That was the end of that, so now, on Saturday, May 21, 2005 @ around 850PM, I resume my normal bloggasting.

I’ve heard a lot of great electronic music lately, so I’m actually going to share a few songs with you. If you like trance, yay, because you’re going to love this. If you don’t know what Trance is, this is actually way bent towards Melodic/NRG/Emo Trance so if you like that kind (or don’t know if you do!), check this out. The song is called

“Some Years Ago” by DJ’s @ (at) Work, which is an artist that many electronica lovers appreciate, as far as their existance goes. I’m going to upload the song now, and at the end of the post, you’ll find links to all the songs I’ve mentioned (in case I mention more, I have now covered my bases)…

Before I continue though, I got these pimp new speakers for about %40 off what you would have paid… w00t for Employee Discounts (:

Check them out here: http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=6772147&type=product&id=1089245473380

Enough about that. They’re really pimp and I’m listening to them now, so yeah.

I think I’m going to discuss how I try too hard. When the guy I gave my phone number at Best Buy a few nights ago called me back, I was ecstatic and such, but now, I’m not sure if he wants to talk to me. He keeps asking if he can call me back later, but doesn’t. Second time is the charm, though– I’m not going to call him until he calls me back… and we will see how long that takes.

I’m starting to get sick of how I am living life now, so whatever. It seems that my life is becoming rather useless. I don’t really have many friends, and, well, I’m really in dire need of a companion, so I’m going to make a special campaign image… It will basically be like this… Whoever finds me someone, someone pretty and interesting, will get $50 if we stay together for more than 30 days… so the challenge is on. Go find someone I’ll like, and someone who will like me.

That’s all I have for now. Till later. And yes, I was too lazy to include a link for the song thus far, but I’ll do it soon enough.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 21st, 2005 at 8:50 pm and is filed under Awaiting Categorization. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.