edward fox's reality

I need to divide this up:
Most of the Blog is:

Rated TV-PG for Mild Language.

The log part of the blog post (including the video) is:

Rated TV-MA++ for Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, Strong Violence/Mature Content, Blood and Gore, Reality.
and carries this advisory:
THE FOLLOWING CONTENT IS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC AND MAY OFFEND SOME READERS. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU VIEW.

Seriously, if this is your first time reading my blog, welcome. I prefer that you scroll back at least 10 posts to get a general idea of what is going on with my life. People just entering (read the last few comments on the previous blog post) might be a little disoriented as to what’s going on, but that’s all right. The more you read, the more you learn. I don’t type pointless drivel for you. I type something that I hope you can get a point, moral, or entertainment from.

There will be no wrist-slitting, emo-whining, girl-crying, bitch-moaning, gay-guy-groaning, stupid-shitty, pathetic-assed posts or rambles in this blog.

This blog is who I am. It is exactly how I would talk in real life. It is exactly who I represent as myself to the world. This is what I do. Pour my heart, into every entry. You’ll feel the love, passion, annoyance, gratitude, and emotion as you read. Be afraid, or love it. Those are your options.

With that little introduction out of the way, let’s get right into the content.

Part of this blog was typed on December 4th.

I do it every day, night. It’s sadly who I am, and if you know me, you know that I worry like crazy.

Consider people who are ADD. Add ADHD to that (not replace), then increase the level of their worrying and hyperness 50%, and you’ve got me.

Is that a good thing? Not really…

The people around me move at a calmer pace, more relaxed, more… problems, though. Weird. I hate how those are pushed together. I would pick the more relaxed attribute of life at a slower pace… and I know that can easily be achieved by using medicine that reduces the effects of AD(H)D. However, I don’t know. It’s an odd compromise. I’m sure I could adjust to being somewhat ‘normal’, but when I look at normal people, they never seem to be at their full “Happy” potential.

I guess I could get a little personal, even though I don’t feel like it.

According to Chris, I worry a lot!

According to Myself, I concur! (agree)

Why do I worry so much? *Sigh* As some of you may know (or not?) I get jealous easily of people, even if they like me. Some of you, however, don’t even know my name (It’s OK Nathan =)… Whatever floats your pathetic little boat, though.

If you don’t know how to scroll down (or back a page) you can read my whining from before.

This is totally retarded:
I was once scared of the Boogie Man, but now… now it’s different! Now I am a grown ass man! And Iwet my bed every time I think of him.

… not funny.

I’m not going to make that long of an entry. I just get tired of typing so much, so let’s see…

My weekend was (thankfully?) uneventful for the most part. I just sat, did random little unimportant things.

Monday, I don’t really recall what happened. It was probably boring, and I probably don’t need to mention anything.

Tuesday, I don’t think that was very eventful either. I had a few problems with at least one person I’m sure.

Wednesday… Mua-ha-ha. Let the FUN begin.

Let’s start off in the order the annoyances were received:

Jennifer. You silly girl. Apparently, when I had talked to Hannah last time, I had said something along the lines of “Jennifer talks about someone she no longer cares about and that is why she is making a big deal, and she read your Xanga.”

Jennifer attacked me today (Excuse me–Jennifer Bryce) saying that she had never read Hannah’s Xanga, and that I was lying about everything I was saying.

For at least 30 minutes, she whined about having to put up with Hannah, and was constantly hating on her and her boyfriend (Jenn’s ex-boyfriend). So from my point of view, it still seemed that she was trying to care about someone that she didn’t need to, and was caring about statements which were supposedly directed toward her from Hannah’s Xanga. (If you can keep up, good job! *Gives cookie*)…

Personally, I do not care about problems between two people that I talk to, and Jennifer was calling me a liar.

Pop QuIz! WooOOooOoT! Here’s your question, for $0:
Q: What do you call it when, as one person is reading a Xanga out loud, you looking over their shoulders to read it yourself?
A: What is “reading [her] Xanga”?

CORRECT!

Apparently, Jennifer doesn’t think so.

I don’t care. I don’t remember things from over 24 hours ago. Not even 12. Not even 4! GO FIGURE!

A HAPPIER TOPIC!…

On Tuesday, Chris sat with me. It was uber-special. I couldn’t stop talking to him the whole time. It was truly a moment not to be missed. Except, it’s being missed already.

Going back to Wednesday’s NEXT issue…

I hope the fag who likes talking about me reads this. Unlike Jennifer, who gets bent out of shape when people mention her name anonymously (apparently not so anymore), I would like to mention someone else:

ARTURO FROM NIMITZ BAND // ARTURO FROM NIMITZ BAND // ARTURO FROM NIMITZ BAND // ARTURO FROM NIMITZ BAND // ARTURO FROM NIMITZ BAND // ARTURO FROM NIMITZ BAND // ARTURO FROM NIMITZ BAND // ARTURO FROM NIMITZ BAND. I don’t know his last name. That is how unimportant he is.

Unfortunately, I found out that he was discussing things that really weren’t appropriate with other people…

I realize that he is an insignificant person, and probably does want to get together with me, or whatever, and personally, that doesn’t bother me. Be in the closet for as long as you like, but one thing you shouldn’t do are the following things:
A) Tell a girl to IM me asking if I am gay or not; though she had known me longer, I had had both Arturo and her in the same class, during the same period, for the same number of years, and I hadn’t spoken to either one of them since LAST year.
B) Tell another girl last year that I was gay, or ask another girl if I was gay, or even discuss the question of me possibly asking another girl if YOU were gay, and if SHE had told people. What the hell?
C) Tell me I’m interrogating you by simply asking you questions that you didn’t want to ask, and instead chose these answers:
1- “I don’t know”
2- “It’s a long story.”
3- “What are you talking about?”
4- “You need to be nicer.”
5- ….Anything but what I wanted to hear.
D) Make things up and find excuses for other things.

#5 represented 80% of Arturo’s responses. I was asking for facts, and he was stating opinions.

I find it hard to believe that someone with that high of a voice, with that way of acting, with those interests, that he isn’t gay. I hadn’t even mentioned him, and I was explaining it to others in my Orchestra class (which is where I had run into him), and they said it on their own.

In summary, if you chose not to read any of that…… Fat guy who acts gay decides to ask random people to ask me if I’m gay for ‘no reason’ and happened to ‘stumble upon’ my “xanga” as he calls it (Check the source code, kidz!) just so he could get yelled at loudly in my class, while attempting to place blame on a girl…

I do rest my case on that… But to discuss the fact of what he did say. He brought up one interesting thing.

AM I GAY?

Just because I talk about Zack and Chris and say I love them? Pardon me, my Stereotypical Friend, as I bow down and give into the world’s non-common-sense.

I didn’t realize that by loving another guy as a best friend, this made you gay. I apologize that I can freely express the fact that I love Zack beyond anything in this whole @#%%ing world, and that I would do anything for him, under any circumstance, because I always think about him, and always try to make his life as good as I possibly can, and he does the same for me. I didn’t realize this couldn’t be achieved without being sexually attracted to one another (at least, according to you). Is that why you think I am Gay?

I didn’t realize that by expressing myself, and being an interesting person, that I wasn’t qualified to be attracted to girls. I didn’t realize I had to express my hornyess toward girls so that I could “defend” my true sexuality. I didn’t realize that you could be such big-brained yet so narrow-minded as to what reality really is. I’m sorry, but I just don’t see the way that ARTURO FROM BAND does.

It’s just a damned good thing that I don’t have to see him daily, or else things would be much worse.

Now, back to me supposedly being GAY.

I take a lot of criticism. Most of it I’ll throw out with yesterday’s garbage… OK, more often than that, since I usually forget to put out the trash.

For example, today during 7th, this guy had told me to shut up. I was like, “Thank you! Even though I wasn’t talking, I’ll be sure to talk more now.” And so I did…

Then this other guy (who is usually getting ‘krunk’ and annoying) said “Please”… I was like “Aww you said please– thank you!” and so I remained mostly quiet. Another time, this black girl that was sort of large enough to sit on me thought she could get me quiet by staring at me… Does anyone know how much I a) enjoy yelling, b) enjoy making points while not INTERROGATING and c) staring?

I love having Random staring contests! While reminds me, a lot of people wearing contacts have an unfair loss (lack of an edge) because their contacts dry their eyes out, or something like that *shrugs* I’ve never worn contacts so I don’t know about that one.

WOOOOO Off-Topic a bit there.

OH EMM GEE. I must be excited… Zack & I both FORGOT about our 8 Month Anniversary of Knowing each other!

Now it’s a small story time session.

From the moment he first IMed me, it was best friend “love” at first sight. Seriously.

I was like, I want this guy to be my best friend. He’s too cool. His screen name is t3h p1mpz0r, he wants web space, and he loves cars. How fudging perfect is that?

I didn’t really realize that he was my best friend too until a few weeks later. I was all ecstatic at first, and what’s amazing is, though that feeling (granted!) did fade away for a few weeks or days, it has never actually gone away. I still feel the same when we were first friends as I do now. (That was semi-redundant…:Tears Here:…)

So why does he make such a great friend?

I know that Manny was sort of mentioning this in the previous post… as a comment:
“OH… best friends are someone you can tell ANYTHING to and they actually listen and have 50 billion out of 50 billion and ten things in common… they’re awesommmeee… ”

I edited out the unrelated parts, but the gist of it is certainly there.

If you do always read my blogs, or have been reading them for awhile, you certainly know that a HUGE percentage of my life revolves around and relates to Zack. With that in mind, though, you have to understand about why we make such good friends.

I see a lot of people that try to make best friends, either because they’re lonely, they just THINK they’re good friends, or because they simply want someone to always be there for them…

While these may be DECENT reasons (here’s the scale: Horrible, Bad, OK, Decent, Good, Very Good, Excellent, Perfect), they are certainly nowhere near the level of friendship I have achieved with my Zack. If I do say so myself, I believe our friendship is perfect. And now, allow me to explain why.

Firstly, there are a few things I should say before starting this. But wait… You’re probably saying “HE JUST NOW TYPED FIRSTLY?” You’ll get through it… Moving along.

So yeah, firstly, when you first start a relationship with someone… and let’s find a definition for “relationship” since ARTURO FROM BAND might think something sexual since his mind and body is oriented that way…

Definitions of relationship on the Web:

a relation between people; (`relationship’ is often used where `relation’ would serve, as in `the relationship between inflation and unemployment’, but the preferred usage of `relationship’ is for human relations or states of relatedness); “the relationship between mothers and their children”
www.cogsci.princeton.edu/cgi-bin/webwn

a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection); “he didn’t want his wife to know of the relationship”
www.cogsci.princeton.edu/cgi-bin/webwn

(More available here: http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&q=define%3Arelationship … )

With that said, we can see that relationship doesn’t mean having sex. Unfortunately, a lot of people this age think that’s all a relationship is, but let’s not get into that sweet, cute topic!

Most people think they know exactly how the other person feels, and that they can connect to the person. If you just think this, and don’t feel it, you’re probably not in the best ‘best friend’ status you can possibly have.

A lot of people have friends that are close, and they may hang out and do things, but are they really there for them?

With me and Zack, our relationship has not had actual problems.

You can stop reading negative-five paragraphs or so ago if you are at least two of the following: a) immature, b) retarded and refuse to accept new ideas, c) a freshman. (Remember! At least TWO!)… Moving along.

I almost typed that we had had problems. However, the problems aren’t even worth mentioning, because they weren’t problems. They were just me worrying (going back to what I had first said), so yes…

Moving along still, Zack and me are oddly close. If you were to read some of our conversations (refer to the Pyramid to see why I don’t post our convos up) you would think that we had known each other our whole lives. It is just this amazingly close bond that we share with each other.

Most of you know I’m a no-holds-barred sort of person. I will tell things like they are, regardless of if you are my “friend” or friend or enemy. You are all treated equal! With exception to Zack, Chris, and other people that I respect (and that respect me, of course… People I respect, even named ones, can lose their respect at any time. Forewarned!) So that must mean you don’t respect me much anyway, so you don’t deserve for me to be tactful around you.

Because I don’t restrict what I say, this provides a perfect avenue for a lot of things.
1) For Zack to be Entertained;
2) For Zack to see how STUPID people are in Texas;
3) For Zack to realize how much I love him because I show things to only him and no one else.

I had learned my lesson in the past about sharing things (especially online) with people in general, and them sharing things with me…. We will just say that hadn’t worked out too well.

If you think I have lost my focus, I do apologize.

Just to let you know, we both said Happy Anniversary (well, he said “Happy aniv” because he wasn’t positive as to how to spell Anniversary– muh buddy b0i! hehe) to each other.

Regardless of it being belated, it was still be-autiful.

In closing, let’s talk about the rest of the day, the Insignificant Events that made the day well-rounded.

Rhiannon brought me cookies this morning. I have this thing with cookies, and they were ridiculously satisfying… except for the last one. That one was burnt, and I had to throw about 35% of it away. Tragedy ind33d. Not enough chocolate pieces in it, either (:

But that was OK. I moved onto 6th period, which I had already done my homework in from the previous class, and cleared up a Zero simply by showing her that I had turned it into the “Digital Drop Box.” How neat.

In 7th, aside from the whining and moaning (It’s a distant memory…) we had a great free-day. W00t w00t.

In closing… My whole life is a free day. I truly believe I have the best possible friend in the whole universe, and if anyone cares to prove me wrong on that, please do.

You have to answer these questions:
1) Have you ever had a fight with your best friend?
2) Have you ever been angry with your best friend for more than a few seconds?
3) Have you ever thought your best friend was lying?
4) Have you ever not been able to share something with your best friend, even from when you first knew them (within a few days) because you thought they would take it the wrong way, or you would be embarrassed?

I’ve never truly felt any of these toward mine, so if you answered “YES” to any of these questions, you’re out!

Z4CK!!!! T3h most aw3s0m3 d0000d in t3h wh0l3 un1v3rs3 :D:D z4ck’s t3h man

Yay for ending on a positively amazingly great note.

And, I didn’t really get to finish everything. I just need sleep.

===========================
I had to add this to my post for today. Added on Thursday, December 09, 2004.

Intelligence Boi: Take a look at the work that is involved in completing your dinner: http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=mym2002&Player=wm&speed=_med
[[Note: If users want to watch the video, it's best to go b ack to here to choose your speed/player: http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=mym2002 ]]
rehan85: ye yea yea
rehan85: alrady seen it
Intelligence Boi: lol
rehan85: boo hoo animals die
rehan85: as long as my meat is virus/crap free i’m fine
Intelligence Boi: lolol
rehan85: the poor animal’s gotta die anyways
Intelligence Boi: how come?
rehan85: waht u want to sing them a lullaby before u chop off their necks and let them squirm to death?
Intelligence Boi: no..
Intelligence Boi: We’ll discuss this in person. Eventually.
rehan85: lmao
rehan85: dude
Intelligence Boi: No.
rehan85: they gtta die
Intelligence Boi: Don’t talk online.
rehan85: we gotta eat
Intelligence Boi: That’s like saying
Intelligence Boi: GOTTA EAT? WTF?
Intelligence Boi: There isn’t enough food on this earth without meat?
Intelligence Boi: As if the government can’t afford a more ethical policy on death?
rehan85: what, so u’re gonna eat vegetables and rice, sorry , i need my meat. i’m human.
Intelligence Boi: …
Intelligence Boi: I didn’t say tht
Intelligence Boi: that*
Intelligence Boi: Aren’t you like not allowed to eat some kind of meat?
Intelligence Boi: or can you eat all of it
rehan85: justn ot pork
Intelligence Boi: Fascinating
Intelligence Boi: so you gotta have meat
rehan85: so pigs…hahaha *piont and laugh*
Intelligence Boi: but your religion restricts it.
Intelligence Boi: why?
rehan85: dude, i don’t think i could last on vegetables for a long time
rehan85: maybe for a short time
rehan85: but not a long time
Intelligence Boi: I didn’t say that
Intelligence Boi: lol
Intelligence Boi: I’m not asking for you to switch your diet plan
Intelligence Boi: It’s just your attitude is really harsh.
rehan85: to soybeans?
Intelligence Boi: Let me talk for a second
rehan85: kkkkkkkkk
Intelligence Boi: instead of being an ass, please
Intelligence Boi: Thank you
Intelligence Boi: now
Intelligence Boi: The idea that they have to die, I’m not sure about that, but that is an opinion
Intelligence Boi: I’m just slightly offended by you saying that they have to die the way they do.
Intelligence Boi: IM TALKING, Rehan.
Intelligence Boi: Please do not type.
Intelligence Boi: now
rehan85: so we’re supposed to take meat off of the mwhile they’re alive?, lmao
Intelligence Boi: Hang on hang on
Intelligence Boi: Shhh!
rehan85: i never said they have to die like that
Intelligence Boi: Argh!
rehan85: but they have todie
Intelligence Boi: LET ME TALK
Intelligence Boi: HOLY FUCK
rehan85: kkkkkkkkk
Intelligence Boi: OK
Intelligence Boi: Now
Intelligence Boi: So let’s see. They are animals, and haven’t done anything wrong to each other, but they deserve to die.
Intelligence Boi: Taking that same idea into thought, we are humans and screw each other over everyday.
Intelligence Boi: We should deserve to die more then, no?
Intelligence Boi: I guess you can tlak
Intelligence Boi: You won’t wait for me to make my point
rehan85: ever heard of the food chain?
rehan85: make ur point oh great veggie one
Intelligence Boi: I really you woudl learn what ‘take your time’ means
Intelligence Boi: I eat all meat
rehan85: kkk
Intelligence Boi: It’s just, I thought you had a conscience is all
Intelligence Boi: I could care less about what you ate, Lol.
Intelligence Boi: I wanted to show you that for educational / research purposes, not for shock / diet / opinion purposes
rehan85: i don’t have a conscience?
Intelligence Boi: I highly doubt it, Lol.
rehan85: dude, like i said, i wouldn’t like getting beat to death
Intelligence Boi: Lol
Intelligence Boi: I don’t remember seeing that.
Intelligence Boi: You were just being sarcastic about.. singing?
rehan85: yea, they should treat them better and not beath them to death or feed them till they die
Intelligence Boi: Well, and that steroids crap
Intelligence Boi: and tiny cages
Intelligence Boi: It’s like our country is barely scraping by
rehan85: yea, now that is wrong
Intelligence Boi: that they have to make such conditions
Intelligence Boi: What is wrong about killing an innocent living thing?
Intelligence Boi: isn’t**
Intelligence Boi: and truly innocent
Intelligence Boi: You hear things about babies and kids being innocent
Intelligence Boi: Bullshit
Intelligence Boi: You know they aren’t innocent
Intelligence Boi: They cry from the time they are born
rehan85: dude, i never said it was right, but we have to kill it in order extract met from u
rehan85: it
Intelligence Boi: That’s why I have no respect towards humans
Intelligence Boi: slaughter all of them
rehan85: ok yea, k
Intelligence Boi: met?
Intelligence Boi: I think you mean meat*
rehan85: yea yea
Intelligence Boi: lol
Intelligence Boi: goodgood
rehan85: i thought i’d be hearing this lecture from rhiannon
rehan85: but k
Intelligence Boi: haha
Intelligence Boi: I have chickens you fag
rehan85: lmao
Intelligence Boi: so it hits close to home k thnx
rehan85: U BEAT THE MTOO!?!?
Intelligence Boi: *sigh*
rehan85: lol..
rehan85 signed off at 10:28:36 PM.

I don’t think he signed off. I accidentally hit the “Block” button