edward fox's reality

This symbol indicates that my blog is generally positive, and I won’t normally be typing this explanation below it… this is just in case you really don’t want to read all my ramblings, but doesn’t mean I won’t ramble at all. Most positive blogs will be G-Rated (basically meaning there is no warning as to its content) or PG-Rated; blogs which have a dose of “Reality” (explaining something and not just me whining) can be up to TV-14 or even TV-MA and still be positive. That is all for the explanation.

The next new feature that will appear in my blogs will be the Money Meter, which tells you how much money I have and how much money I am away from my goal of $500… Here’s the Meter:

$11.05 Received since 11/09/2004!
So, why do I need so much money, you ask? A large percentage of it will be used to buy a plane ticket to Bring Zack to Texas, which is coincidentally the name of the fund. As of now, I only have one other person (guess who?…) helping me to receive funds from people.

Who is Zack?! I already typed this blog and lost it, so I’m doing a large percentage of it from … well, scratch, but mostly my head/memory. Zack is my best (and probably only true) friend that I have in this life and it will probably stay that way. I’m sure I won’t gain anyone else that appreciates me for who I am, and if they do appreciate me, I probably won’t appreciate them becaus that’s how people are meant to be… but that’s off-topic. Let’s get back on-track.

This week’s big donator is Sara, contributing a large quantity of $2. Every nickel (Jessica =) and few dollars help, so consider contributing! I’ll be happy, and I’ll give you a picture of Zack and me that you can treasure forever! A few select people will even get a frame with the picture =)

I might have a deadline which might be soon… it depends on if his mother gives the go-ahead for him to come visit. Of course, I’m sure a phone conference will be in order.

It’d be even better if I had a job making websites and I didn’t have to live with my mother, who is quite angry at me. She still won’t speak to me and gets an attitude that drives me insane.

I feel like going to sleep early, and not doing homework. I don’t want to do homework. I don’t want to, mainly because it’s so rare that I have any (aside from Spanish which I do the period prior to the class anyway).

Apparently I need a haircut… I don’t think I do. I think I’ll let it just grow out because I’m too lazy to get it cut, and just keep applying gel until someone identifies me as the wrong gender. I am a guy, by the way.

My mother is finally talking to me. It changed through my blog. That’s quite impressive. I was going to do the same thing back to her, but it’s too much of a hassle. I don’t understand what the point of initially ignoring me was, but whatever floats/rocks her boat.

Let’s talk about Acceptance of People…

This is one of those ‘difficult’ topics for me to talk about, mainly because I’m not exactly accepting of most people. It’s unfortunately how I am, and simply put, in order to satisfy the general popoulation, you have to act like you care about them…

But is that really a bad thing? Let’s examine from a distance. Actually caring about someone requires a great amount of effort, and is not something that can be pulled off in a matter of hours or days (despite what some people in relationships say to each other). In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever actually “cared” about someone. A lot of the definitions don’t even relate to what is human. Maybe that’s because we’re not as humane as we should be I know I’ve told a lot of people to not care about things in general, and maybe that was the wrong approach.

I’m going to attempt to redefine what I have told many of you, but before I do, there’s one phrase you should all stick by:
“False Hope Leads to True Tragedy.”

That little ‘quote’ (*Sigh* Trying to keep this G-Rated) is 100% Original, so do give credit where needed (:

In a nutshell, the quote means, you should care, but only when you are positive that the outcome is not for a lost cause that you made up in your own little world.

It not only applies to relationships, but all real-world (funny phrase!) situations that you [may?] encounter.

If you’re trying to get a true message out of this, you really have to read between the lines. My mind runs too fast for me to be able to type it all out in this.

I have way too many negative thoughts, and yes, too often I assume that I …

I’m sorry, my mother decided to interrupt my blog-writing by asking what I was writing, and then added a witty little statement: “Are you writing about how you don’t like your mother because she’s not blonde-haired and blue eyes”? She has this endless notion that I hate being hispanic.

I know I’m ugly, but who cares about who my mother is? True, she gave me this horrible short temper and nasty attitude, but that’s no reason to dislike (or even care about) her.

I don’t want to ramble about her. The general topic of this blog is positive…

So what should I do? I shouldn’t actually be rude to people, yes, we know that. But, the solution is actually much deeper than simply realizing your mistake. That’s the “First step”… according to some psychological specialists *shrug*…

I need to actually NOT HAVE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Not just “hold them back” but simply not even think them. That requires much more discipline…

Looks like I have some homework to do… Just not schoolwork.