edward fox's reality

Rated TV-PG for Mild Mature Content.

Before I get to the regular topics, why not explain why I chose this design?… It’s a little bit of personal mixed with reality.

If you’ve ever been to a rave, then you know how friendly and accepting everyone is, hence why I chose this design. The theme “relax” goes perfect with a rave, and what makes it more carefree is the drug usage. Of course, this could be interpreted wrong, but it also shows the elements that anything is acceptable at a rave. I could ramble on, but if you know more, no point in telling you less. Hope you like it.

Now, to the regular blog.

I haven’t updated since Friday. My apologies. As you might have noticed, there’s a new blog design. I slowly… well, read the updates part. Of course you need IE to properly view updates on the homepage, or you can just visit the Updates page.

Anyway, on Saturday…. I started getting as sick as I am now. I am taking medicine for my toe, since it has an interesting infection.

Aside from that, umm, I talked to Zack on the phone. One of my dreams was to talk to him until I fell asleep and unfortunately I was really really falling asleep. I didn’t talk that much, but I tried. It was great talking to him.

Today, I woke up around 9:25. Way too early. I sat finishing my header image for the blog. I talked to Zack a little later on, and I’ll probably call him tomorrow. I hope I don’t have homework due

Not many interesting things to say today… That is all for now.

Now there is more stuff. Look, it’s time for more Zackie pictures. Here we go!

Comment on your own =P

Now, it’s some rarely-seen David Wilkins pictures. (Previous posts mentioning David: http://www.drnx.net/indexlight.php?id=4128b229c0e02 … http://www.drnx.net/indexlight.php?id=4127c67c3222b )

I call them rare because, well, I haven’t posted any of him, since the ones I had were too old and when he came over he made me delete them, Lol. Anyway, here.

Lovely images, no? Etc etc.

Anyway, I’m glad I’m still talking to the person that’s helped me treat people nicer. Lol.

Zack isn’t going to be online tomorrow, so I’m sort of sad about that. He said for me to call him, so I shall… and I still haven’t callen Danny Joun… so sad.

I’m watching “Titanic”… near the end, where that woman is vocalizing. Awww I’m all sad now. I guess I better type out something emo… Lol.

Sometimes, I feel as if no one wants to talk to me. Actually, I feel like that quite often. We’re all too busy in our own little worlds. I’m going to try and finish what I started a few days (like, 3-5) days ago.

Why Yearn for a Relationship?

What is it that triggers us, or forces an urge upon us, to say we love another human being? Whether it be for the wrong reasons… lust, lonliness… or the right reasons… completion, perfection, it’s something many of us want, but something all of us need.

This may sound like I’m about to tell a beautiful story about how Zack and I met *sigh* … Lol. We met because he wanted webhosting. Hardly the beginning of a best-friend-ship novel, eh?

Some of you may think I’m pathetic. I’m madly in love with my best friend. Let’s clean that statement up. I, non-sexually, love him eternally. Though this may have sounded like an easy accomplishment, any relationship needs structure. Unfortunately, many relationships lack this.

Before we continue, you need to know what relationship means. If you wanted to truly get basic, it means the interaction between one person and another (implying additional people), but for the sake of us having a brain that we can use (hopefully), I’ll mold the meaning to be interpreted as an interaction that is wanted between two or more people, regardless of its orientation. Basically saying, your friend and you talk, so you have a relationship. Relationship does not imply that you have to have sex or do anything provocative, if you will. It simply implies that you are in good social standing with whomever you consider to be in a relationship with.

So why do we want a relationship? The concept may seem simple (if you are wrong) or complex (in which situation you are correct!). The reason, however, is rediculously simple. We all want caring, affection. Without it, what are we but emotionless blobs going through life without any reason to live except for our own persons?

Regardless of the kind of relationship you want, you’re in it for the same reasons. This is where my view on friends and other people’s views become incredibly skewed. You see, regardless of the person’s gender, I will treat all my friends equally, and care for them in equal amounts. If you want to interpret that oddly, well, most of you will anyway. But why? That’s how we are now. We’re a society that insists on being rude, disrespectful to another. We ignore others because we are too busy worried about what others think about us… Does that not make sense?

Wonderful! However, maybe by the end, it will. In a world where time is something that there simply isn’t enough of to accomplish anything, we deceive ourselves time and time again. You know, a wise lesbian comedian (Ellen D.) once said, “You know, if we had an extra hour in the day… you know what we’d do with it? Nothing. We’d proscratinate that hour, too.” What does this have to do with relationships, though? If you don’t see the connection, it’s that… They take time.

Communication takes time. Unfortunately, time isn’t something we want to take advantage of. Or maybe it is, but we just don’t think it’s the right moment.

This article/topic is far from finished. When I gather more time, I’ll type out more about it…

Jumping back to previous topic… It seems that the only person that actually wants to talk to me is Zack. I’m just too out-of-place… or will that change? I wonder.

–Update on 9/20/04 @ 8:50AM–
Now, relationships involve a great deal of effort and devotion. Let’s talk about relationships in which you may at one point become romantically involved. (Collectively called “romantic relationships”). Unfortunately, many people think that simply sharing their body instead of their thoughts is the solution to all this, while making everyone a happier person, and no one’s the wiser. Unfortunately, this simply isn’t true. Early in relationships, communication is key, even before you actually go out. I know it may not make sense, but the main reason many of us feel empty if we’re not in a relationship is because someone is no longer there to care about our every emotion, our every pain, and our every pleasure.

We try to work harder every time to replace–no, scratch that–change the style of people of people we go out with when compared to people we have previously gone out with. If you went out with someone who (for example) liked puppy dogs, you will no longer want someone that (for example) had many puppy dogs, or (for example) worked at a puppy dog adoption center. Since I’ve learned from previous relationships, I’ve also thought that the other person wasn’t always to blame. However, in any relationship I’ve been in, romantic or not, I’ve usually been the person who cares more about the other person. I can only think of one person that recently cares more about me than I care about them. That does not mean that I simply do not care about them.

But most people just don’t care anymore. What is it? What’s wrong with showing that you care by… being nice? Now, it seems relationships are just hugging on each other, asking each other what’s up (and not really caring about the response), and making out in public to ‘show [your] affection.’ People, please! A romantic relationship is not simply based on the fact that you HAVE to show the romantic side of it every waking moment. More importantly, romantic moments should be something that are cherished more than anything else, and if that is all that you do, then we have a problem!

Let’s go back to the element of communication applying to all relationships. I’ve repeatedly stressed both caring and communication elements throughout my little, rambling short story.

So how do we communicate better? Though there really is no set way, it’s just a matter of getting involved in deeper conversations. Today’s generation thinks that shallow conversations without a purpose are exactly what we all need, when in reality, we are simply dumbing down each other with every slang word we speak. Don’t get me wrong. There is a time and a place for every word, but using slang on a regular basis is simply not the most intelligent thing to do. I’m not ‘dissing’ it, if that’s what you are thinking, Yo!

Moving on, communication is one of those things that really require a person-to-person approach. So, consider spending more time with individual people. (Hm, romantic relationships [usually] only involve two people! Getting my point yet?…) The real, deep, juicty conversations don’t really happen in large groups. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing to be in large groups with people, because that builds your conversational topics even more. So, let’s review. You not only should talk to more people individually, but you should also expand your topics, whether that be from groups, TV, sports, games, computers, just expand! However, simply pulling from one of the main categories of communication (like Entertainment, Sports, News, Technology) will simply not do.

Now, let’s go back to caring. How can we care more? One of the main elements of caring is the fact that you communicate. Without it, you can’t really EXPRESS how you feel. Saying “I love you” won’t cut it anymore, but most of us think it will. I recently heard about a break-up between one of my friends and a girl. She had been whining about him in a previous class (Hopefully she won’t see this!) and said a bunch of things that really didn’t seem like they were in a relationship. They broke up a day or so later (I believe) and got back together. She had begged him for an hour. This is just out of line. You must always plan ahead, and her method of communication was most likely invalid to her feelings (if the @#$^$ has any). When I asked him, he stated it was accurate that she had said “I love you” many more times than she said “I care about you.” What’s the point? You can go around and think you love someone.

The real challenge is actually caring about them, and once you communicate with them enough, especially during the relationship, things will go much nicer. Remember, nothing can replace good old, simple communication. Not even sex.