edward fox’s reality

I left voice mails for two different people yesterday. I’m 100% sure they’ll (a) never read this blog entry and (b) never know I was talking about them. I left brief messages, because we all know that most of the time, voice mails are ignored– they’re now treated like a missed call from an unknown number. Who cares? It’s just a voice mail, most of us say.

I’m one of the few that actually will check their voice mail as soon as possible. I can usually answer my phone anywhere, whether at work, home, or school, depending on how important the lecture is… but sometimes, I just can’t answer fast enough. Thankfully, there’s such an invention as a voice mail, but most people don’t even bother to leave me voice mails. I guess they assume that I received their missed call notification, even though I may not have had service at that time, which may have explained why I didn’t answer the call…

…but perhaps we didn’t think about that.

On top of that, I love people’s surprised reactions when they don’t even realize that they have a voice mail, while others blatantly will tell you, “Oh, I never check my voice mail.” OK, so disable it. You can do that? Seriously? Why yes, you can! It’s pretty easy. Dial “611″ from your phone (without the quotes, heh) and ask for it to be removed. Simple as pie!

But why would anyone want to do that? Perhaps that message was important, or maybe it could be saved to blackmail one of your exes! Who knows? The possibilities are genuinely endless, but without a truly plausible scenario for a voice mail (or so it seems), the reason for voice mails on cell phones is depleting. Now, it seems, text messages are taking extreme precedence over the need for voice mail. With text messages, they usually will receive it within a few seconds (unless they are in a poor coverage area). I know with Sprint, sometimes it would take up to an hour to receive a text. GSM networks (T-Mo, Cingular, etc.) are just better with this kind of thing.

But I don’t think that text messages should replace voice mails completely as far as importance. I think you should check your voice mail… it’s just a respect thing. Wouldn’t you want someone to do that for you?

It seems like we’re all losing respect…

…but that’s for another blog.

CHECK Yo’ MESSAGES.

Rated TV-14 for Mature Language. Bitch.

It doesn’t matter if you know the details of who I’m referring to, or as to what instances I am mentioning.

It doesn’t matter that as I cry now, I am crying because of the past, of what has become of me and my relationships, and what is becoming of them now.

It doesn’t matter that I don’t matter, it seems.

Why does the world care so little about someone who cares so much?

Perhaps I should become like every other heartless “prick” that you ladies and gentlemen can’t seem to deal with or want around. But do you know why they exist? Do you?

You did it to them. You heartless fucks.

That’s right. You created the ass hole, the bitch, the motherfucker. You created these words and shaped their meanings, and breathed life into the very depths of their creation. YOU. It was you, and your heartless, thoughtless actions. Congratulations. Feel proud of yourself– you’ve created a human monster.

That’s OK, though. You’ve expected that people could one day treat you this way. You’ve become accustomed to your own mistakes, then? Perhaps.

One thing I am is honest. I will not lie to you. I will never break your heart by you finding out some disgusting truth of me after the fact. That’s not who I am. I am sometimes blunt, but that goes with truth. I will NOT lie to you. I may deceive you, but we are all a deceptive people. That’s how we try to get our way. It may not always work, but we try… I am real… something that most people forgot how to be. I’m not afraid to show what I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. Everyone else who decides to conform to the ideal ways of thinking will further this problem of things that don’t matter… because it’s not your problem, is it? It’s mine? Really? Really? Really. Interesting. NO!

It’s not my fucking problem that you didn’t know how to treat someone else, and now, you created a human monster.

How can you people say you care, but show so little regard for who or what you are, and so little respect for what I am and stand for?

Maybe I’m just bitchy. That’s it.

When you’re in my position, feel what I feel, and you won’t be second-guessing what I’m saying as much. I guarantee it.

So why are we so fake? I think it’s an American thing. We don’t want anyone to really see who we really are. Rather pathetic, but that’s OK. We’re just a pathetic body of piss sometimes.

Oh I love you all.

Whatever.

If you love me, then I love you.

Really?

Really?

Really.

Interesting.

That’s how I feel right now. I’m not disappointed, though. I know things will look up. I just hope he knows that I care deeply for him and hope the best for us… I do.

The Higher presents “Rock My Body,” a rock song with a very different message than the title implies… Blog post to follow shortly. If you care to listen to the song, click here: [link] This can be everyone’s cup of tea… and wait until you get to the final 30 seconds. You’ll completely fall in love with it. Even with that said, my mood is not the best… Things are going on and they hurt, so without further ado, the lyrics for “Rock My Body.”

I thought the way that she moved meant the way that she tasted,
I could rip the seams right through her lips,
A captivating experience that left me here,
That intoxicating kiss,
But tonight, I’m setting all my memories aside,

So why don’t we trace the footsteps back into our past with the ones we’ve lost?
Too many bad mistakes were made,
No one should have to take the fall for it, when it’s our life to live,

Go, you move we go, now don’t go,
You move we don’t, now go,
Now don’t you move, we won’t go, now don’t go, go,
Found out the way that he moved,
Found out the way that he tasted,
Then he ripped the seams right from her lips,
Never thinking the first time that they met, would be the last she saw of him,

Is glamor an issue while balancing reason?
Are we all waiting to destroy
The things in life we are made of?
A blessing we’re tasting,
And come so fond to recreate,
I can feel the expansion, resembling patterns,
Disguising everything, and what we have to relate,
And it’s all for this one dance,

So why don’t we trace the footsteps back into our past, with the ones we’ve lost?
Too many bad mistakes were made,
No one should have to take the fall for it, when it’s our life to live…

I am watching over you from the stars,
Don’t be scared, I know exactly where you are,
And there’s a piece of me and it’s burning in your heart,
Even death could never tear us apart…

Yess kiddo thanks for making me a account!

yay and the last comment was better sucks that I didnt save it!

i also wish you all of luck with mr.daniel!

—

Editor’s Note: This post was written by Chris C. Check his MySpace out; find the link on the right of this entry.

I guess the best category for this blog entry would be “life,” right? :]

I am happy to report that I am, er, happy, and it’s all because of Daniel.
It’s pretty great how life can be!

Daniel makes me happy. I can’t wait till I can see him this weekend!
:]

Just thought I’d update everyone!

That’s how I’m feeling right now. I’m not really sure what’s going on. Being clueless is fruitless, but it’s all about that damned DVD scene from two posts ago.

Right now, I want to step away from my life, and live as someone else. I don’t feel like I’m worth anything at the moment. It sucks pretty hard.

That’s why I’m begging to come across a fast-forward button for the world around me… But that won’t happen. I’m just hoping the future will be better than the past.

Yep, let’s hope…

Life, it’s killing me.

There had been hacks before so that people could download artist’s tracks from MySpace even though the ubiquitous “Download” link was nowhere to be found. Now, MySpaceValley.com offers a solution for those of us who wish to violate copyright laws in the United States and other countries. Without further ado, here’s the link:

http://myspacevalley.com/mp3dl.php

It’s really simple. All you need is the URL of the artist’s page, and then you will be able to select the MP3’s that artist has available for download. I have heard this site’s script works with Windows computers running Internet Explorer and Mozilla, but failed on Mac OS X systems running Safari. Hopefully it works for you!

Happy pirating. Kidding!

Note: I do not condone the illegal transmission of copyrighted material. Provided for educational purposes only and should only be used on files that you are able to download through the regular “Download” link method.

 Rated TV-PG for Mature Language. Hooray, right?

Now that you’ve read that language warning, I can give you the whole title of what I was going to write as the subject: “Trapped in Shit.” That’s what it feels like sometimes, when everything feels like it is not going my way. For the moment, it isn’t. I feel like I have failed. FAILURE = ME. Woe is me, and all that other depressing shit. Oh well? Oh well.

I know that sometimes life is not the way you want it to be, but I just wish it wouldn’t all come falling down on me, or at least have the illusion that the world is ending. Is it? It feels like it. I know it isn’t, but that doesn’t change how I feel. Even when you know you’ll survive that surgery, it still freaks you out to go into the operating room to begin with, doesn’t it?

Life is like that sometimes. As my [old] psychiatrist once put it, “The brain has a natural ebb and flow to it”… I guess life would be like that, too. I just want more happy ebb and less painful flow.

It’s amazing how one event can just snowball into a disaster. I don’t like winter anymore. Where’s Spring?…

—

That would have been a beautiful ending. Alas, it was too emo. I’m not really feeling that emo. I just want things to go my way. They do, sometimes, but not usually, and that bothers me. I guess I can’t be too greedy. I should just wait for the good part of the movie… that next DVD scene I’ve been longing for. Yep, that’s the stuff right there.

Ever gone to a restaurant where they had fortune cookies? Of course you have. I thought these cookies’ messages, however, were particularly meaningful. Have a look for yourself!

This was what I was presented with from two separate fortune cookies, while sitting next to the great guy I’m dating, Danii! [B] [MS] I had never opened a fortune cookie with any message like that, let alone two of them in a row. I don’t know… maybe it means something. I’d like to think so! :]

It’s always great hanging out with Danii. You never know what’s going to happen next, and he’s so relaxed and laid back that I’m comfortable with whatever happens (or doesn’t).

Life is what it is, and it’s what we make of it. Sometimes, you have to take risks. You have to believe that maybe there’s someone trying to tell you something, and that something may be real. Maybe this is what we’ve hoped for all along…

<3 you Danii!

Also, something too cool to take note of…There’s only one number in common on both fortune cookies, Danii’s age! :] Cool…