Rated TV-14 for Mature Language. How Tasteful!
This may confuse you at first, but as you read it, you’ll hopefully understand what the difference is from how I was just last week, and months ago, to now. Enjoy!
Consider this. You are at home, enjoying some music. You message your friend asking if he would like to hang out. He says “Sure, why not?” You say, “Great!” and add it to your Google Calendar. All right, maybe you’re not this nerdy, but you make a mental note of the occasion. You’re all excited, and then as you’re still online about thirty minutes later, your friend says that unfortunately he cannot spend time with you because of unforeseen circumstances. Basically, he can’t hang out. “That sucks” is your reply, and he goes on about his newly scheduled business. Basically, he goes on with the crap he has to do that he doesn’t want to do. You go back to your music and MySpace-ing. See? I told you I was talking about YOU!
All right. So why did I give this cheesy example? Simple! It is because I wouldn’t have been able to do this not even a week ago… I want to let everyone in on a little secret…
Aside from being bi-polar (unanticipated secret #1?!) and needing to take medicine for mood stabilization and ADD [attention-deficit disorder] (secret two, anyone?), I also take medicine for a very, very mild form of psychizophrenia. But don’t go hiding from me now, because all these medicines have finally clicked in and arrived at a wonderful unison. Basically, they all fuckin’ work, finally. 
So that means that I can go out in public and not feel like everyone’s staring at me while also feeling the urge to talk to everyone and tell my life story while not realizing they don’t care and then get angry at them. In order from left to right, that’s obsessive-compulsive disorder, which is mild psychizophrenia, very mild that it just called OCD instead; ADD; then bi-polar disorder when my mood randomly switches from hot to cold by small events that would seem relatively uneventful to someone else.
Relatively… uneventful. Now is it making sense? I hope so.
Basically, I can enjoy going out or staying at home, and that is something I was never able to do. Whenever I sat at home, I couldn’t just be myself and enjoy my own company, like many people can do. But, now, I finally can, and it feels really nice, because remember the thing about hanging out? Yeah, that happened to me yesterday. And I didn’t mind.
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a bad thing, for people who are social, friendly, and open to meeting new people. Do these qualities describe you? If so, then we’ll get along fine. However, if you are negative, a pain in the ass, antisocial, or a mix of these, also known as how I used to be, then I’m sorry, my ex-friend, but it seems like we will no longer be compatible. It’s really heart-breaking that I have to say that, because I know a lot of my friendships are going to be swapped around and out, as they have been lately, but that’s how life is. The only constant is change, said by Jose Jimenez, and probably 20,000 other people on this glorious earth.
I was explaining this to Javier, and went through the fundamentals of why I feel this change and how I know it happened. I did catch myself before I confused both of us too much, and so I’m going to give a brief breakdown of how I know this is different. I’m not going to give too many details, but I want everyone to have a fair understanding of what’s going on. Basically, I’m going to rep’ who I am now. Aiight?! Aiight. Here’s how it be.
A few days ago, I started feeling differently. I wasn’t bothered by little things. I started driving slower. I wasn’t in a rush all over the place. I stopped getting randomly pissed off… It all clicked. I was normal. I am normal, and it feels nice.
Some of you may not understand… but I am who I have always wanted to be. Granted, I have a few extra pounds on me, and my hair’s curlier than I’d like it to be, but inside, it’s me, and that’s who I want to be. It’s a crazy development that finally took place after many years of being negative and hateful, but I’m ready to be part of the real world.
Simply put, the types of people that I’m drawn to now aren’t the same as before. The people I like talking to now are friendly and open-minded… This was different from before. I don’t mind anyone who disagrees with me. I don’t mind people who choose to live their life the way they want to, as long as they let me live mine the way I want to. Welcome to Normality, and here’s a cheers to all of us who truly live it.
I’m happy I can finally be me. There’s no imitation now. No more waiting… It’s all me, now. For real. Aiight?! Aiight.
P.S. Hope that cleared it up, Javier. Heh.
