edward fox's reality

Tis the season to be jolly… or hateful? It seems like that has been the atmosphere at my house lately, and it doesn’t seem to be improving as I’m writing this.

First, let’s get into the happy, good-feeling information that will make these holidays truly happy and worth existing. In Mid- to Late-December, I’m going to go see a lovely boy named James in Orlando, FL. I’ve known him for two years once May approaches. With the mess that exists at the moment at home, it’s best to flee to another state and see someone you have been dying to see for a very, very long time. He’s equally excited.

On top of that, I also want to travel to California, because my friend Leonti is a DJ there and wants me to go party with him. I feel so important. Go check out his MySpace page.

I’m also selling my X-Box 360, so if you know anyone who wants one (including you), go ahead and go to my auction (here). I’ll give you a special discount on the auction, from 5-10% off the final value, if you, or someone you personally know, is the auction winner. Woot. I’m also selling my digital camera (here) and Need For Speed: Most Wanted (here) to try and balance my debts out a little before I get a job next semester, or rather, next year… which leads me to my next upbeat point.

I’m going to get a full-time job right after the New Year. My debts are so excessive and my mom is under so much pressure to pay bills that I need to help out. A part time job would give me approximately 10-15% of what I would make at a full-time job,which is sort of sad. Just think about that for a moment… 15-30 hours a week vs. 35-40 = 85% more money with as little as five hours of a difference…

As we all know, no news is good news, so here’s the bad news.

Originally, I was going to be able to enjoy a sharing of my mom’s timeshare so that I could have a week in Orlando for around $150. Not a bad deal at all, considering most hotels charge that much per night, much less a week. Add a zero and that would be a more accurate figure for the latter. Unfortunately, my mom retracted this offer in her usual fit of rage, so this changes things up just a little bit–it’s all good. I’ll take care of it one way or another. Another bump in the road, but the road smooths out soon enough. A dirt road is where I am, and soon, I will be on a paved road, and in a few months, I’ll be on a toll road. Odd way of looking at it, but it gets the point across, I think.

Selling my stuff isn’t a big deal to me–it won’t be missed by me at all–it was in my closet for at least two months, but the job situation will present a very different lifestyle for me. It will be one where I finally feel responsible for myself, because I will be at work during a standard hour set (8-4, or 9-5), while also going to school at night and taking classes online… This is how my life needs to be lived right now. When the person I care about most is in another state, I just don’t have as much time to devote to things that won’t help my future, which means little free time… But that is what I need. I need to feel productive, because I haven’t been for months.

My mother loves driving my motivation and ability to think freely into the ground. After all the homosexual and (financial) debt taunts and insults, it gets to me. It’s old either way, but it still gets to me…

May this phase of the holidays come to an end soon.