edward fox's reality

My mind won’t let me.

It just doesn’t make sense.

Why can’t I control myself? My life? My mind?…

I’m not just saying this to make excuses. To sleep more than half the hours in a day isn’t right… to not be able to focus.. to constantly worry… This is not how I want to live my life.

I don’t want to have to need these. I don’t. I don’t want to feel confused, and hurt those I love most. I wish I could just relax… I wish I could be happy. I wish I could make things better… If I am given the chance, I will try my hardest. I’ve had it with myself…

The picture is blurry for a reason. My mind isn’t clear at all, so neither should the photograph of what’s taken over it.

I love you, Jose. I know you can feel that. I hope you can find it in your heart to realize that I never meant to hurt you… I never would intentionally do that. I can’t wait until we speak again.