edward fox's reality

Things are good, but there are still those days when life’s biggest problems glare at you with all their might, and when nothing seems to be going right… (Oh yay, it RhYmEs! I’m so tacky sometimes. OOPS! I did it again.)

• Money. It seems we don’t have enough of it at my house.
• Misunderstandings. They are all over the place and it brings me down way too much, too hard, too often, again, at my house.
• Medicine: I forgot to take it today. Maybe that’s why I feel under par, who knows? Maybe it is effective, who knows, again?
• Material Online: Already due, and just like that, I lost 20% of my possibility of getting an “A” in the class. Thank you, website, for notifying me a day after the assignment was posted and due, that I needed to complete it. Thank you, very much.

Sometimes I just feel like such a lazy bastard who never gets anything done. Yeah, part of that is my bad, and I’ll agree. However, we can’t all be perfect all the time, and I’m trying. Why can’t people, especially my mom, accept that? It makes me wonder how much better life would be if it wasn’t infused with hellish arguments at earth-shaking decibel levels, completely inappropriate for their nature. Sometimes, I just can’t resist to push back after being pushed. It just sucks. How long can we stay sitting and while succumbing to being sitting ducks? [Editor's Note...that's me: I had to type that word about six times into Google and dictionary.com before I realized it had a "B." I'm not as smart as I type. ]

Again, things are good, but sometimes, the pleasures get lost amidst the sea of confusion of what is, what isn’t, what’s lost, and what hasn’t been found… but remaining optimistic and true to myself, I know that there will always be good in my life, and I will always be appreciative for it. This isn’t a “hard time” for me– it’s just a time that I would like to press the Fast-Forward button on, if I had a remote for my life. I’m sure I would use it way too often, though, trying to make highs for myself, like sugar highs that people get from drinking soda sometimes. Sure, it’s pleasurable, but sometimes, too much is just too much, right?

I digress. Too often.

Notice how I tried to make my list up there all start with “M”…. I don’t like M. Of course, “A” and “T” and “Q” and “H” and “W” would all have been much more suitable choices for the final item, but just keeping things … weird, is what I like to do sometimes.

I digress. Again.

Now on to the finer points in life. Jose is awesome! Now that I’ve become slightly more level-headed (such an anti-exaggeration; whatever you can call that without the “anti” in just one word works, too), it makes for a much finer relationship. Yay for working on things I need to work on. I do look forward to growing up more, as long as everyone else grows up with me, and sometimes, that’s the biggest challenge of them all, having people you care about most refuse to grow with you, or at least, what I like to call disentialism from working with me and moving forward to a better place and better life… This word appears nowhere on the Internet, in any newspapers, magazines, or books. It comes from entail, which means (in its lesser known definition) to require. Dis-entail means to leave out, or detach from, so disentalism would be… well, you get the idea. Finally, a word that I made up, like randomocity, that hasn’t been plastered all over the Internet yet.

But, life is still very, very satisfying. I am happy with the way things are going. I just wish I could always see things for what they are, and that my mom especially, and anyone who doesn’t listen to what I am saying, would see it, too…

But we can’t always have what we want.

File Menu > New Game please. I wait for your arrival. Only Jose will know what I’m talking about. You are awesome baby! Thank you for everything =] ONE YEAR on the 14! YAYYYY! ^_^

P.S. Sorry for not writing in my blog forever. It’s funny because I only planned on this being four lines long, those four bullets… Funny how things grow if you let them. (: