edward fox's reality

Rated TV-PG for Reality. Mature Language. Just the “S”-word, once! I promise!

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This entry was actually POSTED on September 3, 2005, at 10:22 PM. It was back-tracked because other events happened later on that sparked my inspiration to post a new blog. I could not post a new blog entry without posting an older entry first, even if I faked the newer entry to have an older date. I did this the first day I had the blogging program, and it didn’t turn out right. Just FYI!
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College is certainly off to an odd start. The classes are boring, for the most part, but thankfully, the teachers make life a little more bearable. Nonetheless, I am being challenged by a number of things this year. One of the main obstacles isn’t classwork. I think that part is goign to be a cinch. The tough part will be growing and re-evulating what I have already evaulated. I’m one to easily get distracted, and this doesn’t help in any aspect of my life. Not only do I get distracted, but I also have a huge attitude problem.

I assume things too much, yes, it’s true–me… I don’t know why I do, but I do. I always advised against it but I am just barely starting to see that I should not be so hasty, disrespectful, and hateful, especially to those that I care about most. Sometimes I just make decisions that make me feel powerful, but for what? One of my ex-best friends (but still a close friend) [named Alan] was smart and entertained me many times. unfortunately, we would always disagree, at least once a day, and argue for at least a few hours at times… Then I realized, or rather, assumed, that he was more intellignt than myself. Think– What do I do that makes me smart? I know english grammar well, yay? I have a big mouth and like getting things done… quickly.

One of my other ex-[blank]‘s, by the name of Alex Heubner, stopped being my friend for no reason… but that is besides the point. He lives life very funny, and the erason for this is because of a medical condition he has. Privacy is of course maintained on certain issues. [Which reminds me, I came out with a new Privacy/Anti-Trust Pyramid! You must see it!] Anyway. [Friend-Friend or] Ex-ex Privacy privelege applies, I guess. regardless, I just wish I lived life like that. It pisses me off because a lot of people think I am boring and they don’t even try to get to know me… but why? Because I’m pale? Fat? Weird-looking? Who knows? Because I talk about weird things? I don’t understand. I don’t get it. There will be more about this in a newer entry.

It seems that… these days, you have to dress a certain way to have certain friends. I find this weird, because even though we try to seem different by wearing certain types of clothes, we’ve all become the same… by trying to be different, that is. Truth attempting to be told, this is a rather harsh assumption. Or is it? It is true, though. Most white people try to wear ‘popular’ clothing to be popular… but this affects more than just your appearance. Think. all the time, I hear girls talking about bands with shitty music, but does that matter to them? No… Visit their MySpace profile (I proudly support MySpace) and you will see airbrushed pictures of many bands, people, etc., that lack any true talent… Disappointing indeed. We’ve become a heavily appearance-based shallow-thought society. [I'm getting a sore on my finger from writing this... eh.]

So we’ve learned that clothes change you… Let me ask you a question that can be viewed from many different angles. Do people change you? Rather, do you LET people change you? Answer ‘No’ to humor me, then you will see that you constantly rely on what OTHER people want. My really close friend Alex (not to be confused with Alex Huebner. Instead, his name is collectively, Alejandro A——-) always looks so perfect. Yes, I’m complimenting my friend–shut it! =] Anyway, he always tries to impress other people. One night, he was sweet enough to say, “I want to look perfect for you”… It was beautifully said, with a beautiful voice, from a beautiful friend… Awww. OH!

Back to topic.

The problem is, many of us dress because other people we hang around are either brainwashed or just dress up, or different… All I am saying is, try to be yourself. Don’t attempt to dress for others unless it satisfies (YOU GUESSED IT…) YOU! You design your personality. Be yourself. Make yourself. Mold yourself!

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