edward fox’s reality

Rated TV-MA for… Uh, F’d Up Content and Mature Language, Yo.

How FUCKING DISGUSTING.

Some overweight faggot had the nerve to cheat on me. I’ve had DOZENS of relationships, and this is the first time someone’s cheated on me.

DOWN WITH WHITE PEOPLE.

GROSS.

Done.

Love to Juan, Alex, Antonio, and People who are My Friends (:

I have to add to this. Haha. I feel relieved. Relieved that I’m no longer going out with someone that’s fat and ugly (not to mention white, but is that redundant?… ;)) but also the fact that I can explore wherever now… Not like that stopped me before.

So to future crackers that want to cheat on me, Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck You and your obsession with sex, romanticism, and pathetic cunt-style mushyness. Down with the Shit. In with the Hispanics! HAWT! Done.

Rated TV-14 for Mature Language. Reality.

I’m so sick of it! I swear.

Or maybe I don’t. But I’m still sick of it!

What if you have a friend that you make out with a lot? What if you still want to talk to that person, and enjoy talking to them, but you that person doesn’t actually want to go out with you? For lack of a better fake name, let’s go with Maria… because that’s obviously hispanic, I think.

So, Maria’s a hot hispanic girl, and that’s all good and nice. Every now and then, we make out. Woot. Woot. Woot. We lie down, and just lay with each other. Lately, we haven’t had a lot of time to talk to each other. Unfortunately, a recent incident caused us to be unable to freely talk in person. We have to act as if we don’t even really know each other in person, and that sucks. Fortunately, we still make time to talk on the phone. A lot. It’s just the fact that… I’m looking for something different.

It seems like I’m always looking for something different. No matter what I do, I always end up seeming to care more about the other person, regardless of what level of friendship or a relationship I’m looking for.

This isn’t always the case. A more recent relationship has shown that I have greatly lost my attraction to the person I’m currently going out with, mainly due to the fact that I want my ex and my friend Maria. This causes quite a mess.

If the wrong people read this blog entry, I’m done for.

So it’s this odd little competition within myself. Should I be happy enough that I’ve been chosen by my friend to make out with, without any ties? Should I want more?

Hah, no, but that’s the way humans function. What we have now will never be enough. When we get what we want, we will want to go further… Oh, I just want to be friends… no wait, let’s make out. Friends with slight benefits… No, that isn’t enough. Let’s do more. Very well. I want to go out. Let’s go out. Yay. Let’s do more. More. More.

There’s nothing wrong if it’s a natural progression, based on elements of communication and attraction (and not just ‘hottness’, as I like to call what stupid people chase after, ignoring a person’s true self–what’s inside).

I’ll admit it. I’ve given into pretty people. They bored the shit out of me, but hell was it fun to make out with them.

I guess I really haven’t established a firm goal to all this rambling. Let’s make one.

I want someone. I want them now. I know who I want, but the interactions with other people are causing conflict.

That’s it. I’m going to teach you all a lesson.

GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT. This is mierda in its purest form. Shit, to be technical in English. I’ve been trying lately, but the level of want is certainly not mutual, or does not seem that way. I’ve gotten sick of how people expect me to know what they want. Why don’t we all try a new concept, and share with each other how we feel?

All too often, we like absorbing ourselves within ourselves, preventing our true self from being reflected in our daily actions, words, whatever.

I unfortunately don’t know _exactly_ what I want, thus the confusion… More on this later. I’m tired.

I bought my first major discounted item at BBY! I got a 512MB MP3 Player. Lovely.

I haven’t done a new entry since my pathetic last one. I’ve started talking to Juan again, in case anyone cares. No? You don’t? Hrm, I do. ::Hint Hint::…

I have this pain in my left eye now that seems to pop up every now and then. I’ve heard that if you’re in an accident, you’ll have a headache that comes back whenever it feels like it without prior reason… That’s what is happening right now, though the pain isn’t bad at all.

I’ve felt semi-disconnected from people lately. Uhhh, I don’t really care to elaborate, so I won’t.

I haven’t really written an entry that you people should consider worth reading.

I’d just like to thank Juan for reading my entries *feels warm and special and such*…

That’s about all I have for now. Ta-ta!

Rated TV-PG for A Graphic Situation involving a Minor.

A little boy stood at the train station, alone. He could hear the train coming. He was distracted by random bits of paper flying around, playing with the wind. It was amazing how easily nature and technology mingled.

The train was getting closer.

The little boy ran around a little more. I still have time, he thought. I still have time. He continued to move around. He even played around on the tracks for a few seconds. Unfortunately, he played a few seconds too many– the train had arrived.

The conductor never saw him. His little body lay mangled on the tracks. The train kept moving, moving, flowing. Life went on.

Not for the little boy. He was distracted by what wasn’t rather than what was. The world went on as the crimson flowed.

—

Copyright by Me. Can ANY of you figure out what it means?…

In case you didn’t go down a few posts, my webserver crashed (tragic), and so a few comments on entries were lost. Re-comment if you like. I apologize for any inconvenience

RIP List as of Today. More items may be added, including my MSRP $350 Digital Camera…

I don’t really care to elaborate right now, but I was involved in a collision with another car in the Academy Parking Lot around 1:00 on Friday, April 22nd, 2005. Yes, Today! Anyway, my car looks like it will be trashed, since the front was pushed in pretty bad, and it then rolled into a ditch and got soaked. It’s all very tragic, and no one was injured, though my awesome friend Alex said he is in mild pain because of the seat belt. I hope he’ll be OK. He’s such an incredible friend and if anything happened to him, I’d feel horrible. I’m already a horrible person, but I’d feel worse than I already do.

It’s unfortunate that things like this happen. but lessons must be learned.

I’ll elaborate on what happened in a few weeks. As of now, all details shall remain confidential, except for te 2347891 people I already told. That’s all, K thanks. Have a great day, because my day isn’t headed that way.

Have a paste of my current AIM profile:

CELLPHONE: Deactivated/Wet.
LAPTOP: Soaked/Dead/Gone.
CAR: TOTALLED.
MY AWESOME FRIEND: In Some Pain.
ME: PISSED.

Welcome to Reality. Feels Damn Good, No?…

We have a bigger problem. This was my household’s ONLY vehicle. This means no one can go ANYWHERE. Horrible, right? Well, I need money. Not for personal reasons, but so that I can pay off whatever debts are going to acrue because of this mess.

Therefore…

*****HERE’S THE IMPORTANT PART.*****
*****READ THIS, IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE.*****

If anyone would like to promote my webmastering skills, please do so freely. Send me contact information and I will take care of the rest. If it leads to a successful implementation, you will get 25% of the Profits. So if I was to charge $100 on a site, you would get $25. Convenient? I think so. This amount may go up if the total amount is smaller (such as 35% for a $50 sale.)

If you have any questions about this, go to the contact page, or click here: http://drnx.net/deck.php to go there, and send me any questions, comments, or suggestions you may have. Thanks you to everyone in advance.

No one wants to hear this, but you’re going to hear it anyway, again and again.

If you’ve read this blog since it’s “opened” over a year ago, you then know how I react to little things, and how emo I can get over the simplest, smallest, most insignificant gesture, or so you think.

I’ll give this a…

TV-PG for Mild Language. Reality. It Stings, Indeed.

I know I haven’t written a good post in awhile. That was because life was going great, and it still is, but it’s unfortunate that some things happen.

ERR, Scratch that. Life is beyond perfect. Yay for the people who keep it together. Props to … me… and… Me. Hah! =) <3 Myself. And You

Among things that don’t really bother me (The “Barely Give a Shit” category), I think I made a fifty (50) again in English. That would be the second six-weeks that I did as bad as any student possibly could. It’s unfortunate that I really did try, but I just wasn’t there for some assignments, and there was one test grade that had really brought down my average, but that’s another story… I don’t care about that.

Oops, since my life is perfect [muahahaha, who gives a shit about one six-weeks grade in ENG???], I don’t have anything else to write. AWWWWH.

My webserver has crashed. The three posts following this were cached from my computer, and that’s the only reason that I was able to re-post them. The dates have been changed to reflect when they were originally posted…

[This post was originall on April 25th, at 8:55PM.]

I love it how someone won’t “fret” over the argument they had with me, then write not one, not two, not three, not four, but five entries (and change their Xanga design) on the subject. Sorry for mentioning it again, everyone (:

Anyway, I’ve had a really interesting weekend. Of course, some details aren’t meant to be publicly released for the protection of the innocent (but guilty? or whatever). I met a few new people, one most notably Alex, who I think is really cool. I think we’ll be pretty good friends. I like how he’s really honest and direct– you don’t really meet that many people. He knows what he likes and what he doesn’t like. Awesome dude. =P

I feel like I don’t really have anything to talk about on this blog thing, so I don’t know what else to ramble about.

I was sort of an ass to Jase; I wasn’t doing it on purpose… it just sort of happened. He thinks something’s up but nothing’s up. I was just sort of tired and whatnot…

My other friends couldn’t go out with me tonight, and Alex is somewhere else, too. Jase isn’t around either o_O Woo, all alone for right now. Sorta bored.