edward fox’s reality

This is a “Trash Entry“. It’s entirely useless and serves no value, but is moderately informative, so I’ll let it live so you can suffer through a pointless ensemble of complaints with information twisted into the end.

Rated “T” for Trash.

As you have most inevitably been informed by your co-worker, friend, teacher(s), bosses, family members, news, news, and … oh, the news, too, there is a WINTER BLAST headed STRAIGHT FOR US! Head for the hills, head for your cars, head for your homes! Old Man Winter is a-comin’ and he’s a-comin’ for you.

But seriously… How far is too far? How whiny is too whiny? How freaked out is too… freaked out? When will these rhetorical questions stop and the madness begin?!!?!??!?!…….. Uhm… Let’s see…

Now.

This is one of those blog entries where I act like a friendly moron, so if you were looking for something intelligent/insightful/other fancy “I” words here… look forward to my next blog entry, arriving tomorrow.

I was amazed that in most of my classes, at least 5-25% of the class time was taken up by talking about how cold and dangerous it’s going to be, as if we’re all newborns just emerging from the womb, just being exposed to the harshness of the elements of nature. Do we really need to be reminded so thoroughly, by everyone? People act like it’s the Apocalypse.

I am being a bit sarcastic, though. In Texas, it’s rare that we have to face such harsh, cold temperatures. To some, a high of 35F is just another day of winter, particularly those up North.

The cold weather does pose a number of unidentified-by-most threats that you should consider. Be careful with the roadways. Tomorrow isn’t much of an issue, but Friday will be. Also, make sure your pipes are all patched up and faucets near windows should be left to drip slowly… but you already know this, I’m sure…

That’s all for now…

Deranged Editor’s Note: Don’t take this blog too seriously, or seriously at all. Sometimes, I just have to release anger, when there’s too much of it, through my blog.

Ever eaten Life, the cereal? I don’t think I ever have… but, thankfully, it’s irrelevant to this topic.

Rated TV-MA for Mature Language, Disturbing Reality.

If we had the ability to taste our own lives, how would it taste like? At the moment, I think I would rather eat shit than what life is feeding me right now. Fuck you, world. That’s right. I’m pissed as hell, and this is my blog and I’ll sound however mentally insane as I want to and as my mom thinks I am.

Let people do whatever the fuck they want to. They will anyway. It doesn’t really matter what you say. No, it doesn’t. You’re just there, just like they are. We are all just here. Let’s completely ignore our surroundings and see how far we get. Let’s completely ignore what people communicate to us and think we know everything, mother, and then everything will be A-fucking-OK.

This goes to all the other smart alecks I dealt with today. You’re not better than me. I’m not better than you. Get that through the brain I question you have.

I was not put on this earth to be abused, insulted, raped of my ability to freely function and be happy. I did not get to where I am now just so that I could be degraded all fucking day long by the bitch I am not proud to say I am the son of. Fucked-up home? I don’t know–I’ve seen worse. Fucked-up life? Eh. It’s up there. Fucked-up everything? Or fucked up everything? That’s what I’m not sure of… and it freaks me out.

Life fucks you over. But… if we’re still here, there’s still hope. Till a new day begins…

Tis the season to be jolly… or hateful? It seems like that has been the atmosphere at my house lately, and it doesn’t seem to be improving as I’m writing this.

First, let’s get into the happy, good-feeling information that will make these holidays truly happy and worth existing. In Mid- to Late-December, I’m going to go see a lovely boy named James in Orlando, FL. I’ve known him for two years once May approaches. With the mess that exists at the moment at home, it’s best to flee to another state and see someone you have been dying to see for a very, very long time. He’s equally excited.

On top of that, I also want to travel to California, because my friend Leonti is a DJ there and wants me to go party with him. I feel so important. Go check out his MySpace page.

I’m also selling my X-Box 360, so if you know anyone who wants one (including you), go ahead and go to my auction (here). I’ll give you a special discount on the auction, from 5-10% off the final value, if you, or someone you personally know, is the auction winner. Woot. I’m also selling my digital camera (here) and Need For Speed: Most Wanted (here) to try and balance my debts out a little before I get a job next semester, or rather, next year… which leads me to my next upbeat point.

I’m going to get a full-time job right after the New Year. My debts are so excessive and my mom is under so much pressure to pay bills that I need to help out. A part time job would give me approximately 10-15% of what I would make at a full-time job,which is sort of sad. Just think about that for a moment… 15-30 hours a week vs. 35-40 = 85% more money with as little as five hours of a difference…

As we all know, no news is good news, so here’s the bad news.

Originally, I was going to be able to enjoy a sharing of my mom’s timeshare so that I could have a week in Orlando for around $150. Not a bad deal at all, considering most hotels charge that much per night, much less a week. Add a zero and that would be a more accurate figure for the latter. Unfortunately, my mom retracted this offer in her usual fit of rage, so this changes things up just a little bit–it’s all good. I’ll take care of it one way or another. Another bump in the road, but the road smooths out soon enough. A dirt road is where I am, and soon, I will be on a paved road, and in a few months, I’ll be on a toll road. Odd way of looking at it, but it gets the point across, I think.

Selling my stuff isn’t a big deal to me–it won’t be missed by me at all–it was in my closet for at least two months, but the job situation will present a very different lifestyle for me. It will be one where I finally feel responsible for myself, because I will be at work during a standard hour set (8-4, or 9-5), while also going to school at night and taking classes online… This is how my life needs to be lived right now. When the person I care about most is in another state, I just don’t have as much time to devote to things that won’t help my future, which means little free time… But that is what I need. I need to feel productive, because I haven’t been for months.

My mother loves driving my motivation and ability to think freely into the ground. After all the homosexual and (financial) debt taunts and insults, it gets to me. It’s old either way, but it still gets to me…

May this phase of the holidays come to an end soon.

I decided I would post this blog first, since it’s a little more upbeat than the next blog I’m going to post. During the week(end) of November 9th through the 13th, I went on a trip with my Forensics team from North Lake for a speech competition. Even though our school placed 9th (supposedly) out of 17, I still feel like we did not do well at all.

Regardless, I still had fun, and the trip did more than enlighten me on the fact that I have a great speaking voice but terrible presentation qualities (go figure?)… It also reminded me of how much I want to travel to different places.

Before I get to that, though, let me just say that there are so many people in New York that it is not even funny. The New York/New Jersey area is considered a metropolitain area, one area. It is the second most populated area in the U.S. You can imagine how congested everything was, from the streets to the subways. It’s no walk in Central Park when you can barely make it through a street block… It’s a sight rarely seen in anywhere but Downtown Dallas and Deep Ellum, at least, for people living in Dallas. [Side-note: There’s a downtown Ft. Worth. Ha. I’ve never heard of it, and I won’t believe it till I see it.]

It was a great trip, and made me realize that, even though I wouldn’t like to live there because of how close everything is, I want to travel now, more than ever. I’m not sure about traveling internationally, frequently, but domestically, it sounds like a plan. Feel free to check out the pictures on my pictures archive here: http://thefoxbox.net/picz.

Henry Ward Beecher stated this:

“A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.”

Now, let’s not be sexist, so we’ll assume “he” means he or she. With that logic in mind, let’s ask ourselves this: Are we grateful?

First of all, happy Thanksgiving Eve. It’s not a real holiday, according to the U.S. Government, but if Christmas gets an eve, and the start of a new day at the end of a year, the day before such, gets an eve, then so shall Thanksgiving. It seems like we are never satisfied with what we have, and I have fallen a victim to this, too. The way things are, how things are, how people are, it’s never good enough. If you are completely satisfied, that probably means you simply don’t care… or you’re one of very few people who have learned how to balance enjoyment of life with accomplishments of change, and that is a very powerful thing.

Sometimes, it may seem like life sucks. And frankly, I think it does. But we still have to remember what we have, and what we don’t have. We must remember who is still in our lives, and all the good times we have shared. It’s unfortunate that we forget about the past so quickly. To forget is one thing, and to idle, another.

Am I trying to sound extra smart? Perhaps. But it’s important to remember that the past cannot be erased, but it should not take control of us… It’s happened, and what’s happened, happened. We have to move on, but we should be grateful for what has happened in our lives. With that said, I again pose the question to everyone, including myself: are we grateful?

In a heated discussion as I sat in on a Government class this morning as a member of my Forensics team, I noticed that people don’t seem to be grateful for what they have in their lives at all. Their views are so twisted and shaped by what they have been taught that many seemed partially closed to new thoughts, opinions, or ideas, and others closed themselves off completely from everyone else’s opposing views.

What was the issue? Illegal immigration from Mexico. I actually ended up participating in the discussion because of the fact that so many comments were flying back and forth about the room that lacked any credibility that I was about to explode. So many contradicting comments in so little time–welcome to the junior college experience.

One student personally attacked me and said, “Who builds your bridges? Huh? They do the jobs that no one else wants. Who builds your bridges? HUH? HUH? I mean, look at you.” That was obviously a racially-loaded statement. Regardless of the facts that personal opinion should not be included when trying to prove a point, and that I’m Hispanic anyway (50% Salvadoran), just makes me wonder what point he was trying to prove. Was he trying to say I should be grateful that I have bridges that are being built by people who are illegally entering this country? Or perhaps, that I should I feel sorry for them and have sympathy for all their hard labor, which I never denied to begin with?

It wasn’t exactly clear. So how does this relate to being grateful? It didn’t seem like he was even grateful of what people from his country did, and made me feel like it was my responsibility to acknowledge the fact that they work for a living, just like 95% of the U.S. population over the age of 18. I didn’t understand where it was going, and attacking me personally with inaccurate information and baseless, racial accusations, are just as disappointing and devalue the debate entirely. Nonetheless, I maintained my composure…

…but I am grateful. I am grateful we have a diverse community. True, minorities may be suffering because of a lack of education, and the economy may suffer because the less education someone has, the less of a chance they have at making more money, thus less money being invested into the system, but this doesn’t mean I am ungrateful for any of their contributions to society and especially highways! I love me some new roadways and bridges. Ah, the bridges. The word “bridges” was mentioned in three separate arguments subsequently. I started the debate for the morning. Go me.

Normally, I type out a list of people I’m grateful for, but I’ll save that until Christmas, because some other fun things happen around Christmas time, too (James, you know what I am talking about :P), and plus, I don’t feel like I should be thankful only on a holiday with the word “thanks” in it… Shouldn’t that be a year-round thing?

Let’s stop getting caught up in our own busy world, and realize we are all part of the same society. Let’s start contributing, not just for our benefit, but for each other’s. This is something that should happen all the time. If we all did our part, then no parts would be left undone, and the world would feel more complete. We wouldn’t have the feeling like we need more…

Do we already have enough? I think so.

Take that for what it’s worth.

Happy Thanksgiving to All!

Welcome to AOL Masterpiece Theater!

—
HtCdAc: lunch is @ 10:55
r3h l4x: that works ;p
HtCdAc: w00tle snakes
r3h l4x: k ill show up early this time
r3h l4x: instead of 5 mins late ^_^
HtCdAc: ;p
HtCdAc: it was 10 >_>
HtCdAc: <_<
HtCdAc: lol
HtCdAc: ;p
r3h l4x: lol
r3h l4x: 8!
r3h l4x: do we hear 9?
r3h l4x: jk ;p
HtCdAc: LMFAO
HtCdAc: you nerd
—part two—
HtCdAc: ahhh
HtCdAc: it feels so good being able to get it
HtCdAc:
r3h l4x: you’re sick.
r3h l4x: lol jk
HtCdAc: LMAO
HtCdAc: hawt
—
This ends a classically pointless blog entry.

So I attempted to do an abstract-yet-related subject for this blog entry. Was it successful?… Find out, by the end of the entry.
New York was rather interesting. However, I’m going to simply fill everyone on in what happened during the weekend, and in the past, that I didn’t know about until after the fact.

First, let’s start with the fact that my car was broken into on the North Lake College campus of the DCCCD schools in Irving, TX. Was that too descriptive? My precious Escort X50 was stolen I got it at a great price since I had an employee discount when I worked at Best Buy, and I did not take a picture of the serial number. I’m doing my own investigating which will pursue a number of different routes a thief could take with his newly acquired merchandise. I figure I have about a 40% chance of getting back my radar detector. I already replaced my window. I was going to take pictures of it, but forgot.

So that was the tragedy that happened this weekend, but apparently, there was another tragedy that happened a few months ago.

A shooting occurred south of Rock Island (what I call “Zone 1″ of 5 “wealth zones” in Irving, with “1″ being the least gross income per capita, and “5″ being the most) at an apartment complex. My friend apparently knew the guy who shot someone, but it was unintentional. He was shooting his gun into the air and somehow managed to shoot and kill someone else in the apartment complex. The complex is now shut down… Amazing. Makes me wonder, the whole, 6 degrees thing. You are connected to everyone by only six steps… really makes you wonder. Really.

This entry has nothing to do with New York, or my life, really, or to San Marcos. It was just one of those fillers. An entry with lots of shiny pictures [and such] will follow within a few days. I have a week’s worth of schoolwork to catch up on now…

Friendly Note: This post was published by contributing blogger Antonio Armijo. -Frederick

Technical Note: The first entry with this article, blog entry #399, randomly disappeared. This is, essentially, a duplicate, of a vanished post. -Frederick

—

Ok so for the past few days i have been going crazy! Way back in the day I used a media player Called … um what was it again.. o ya it was Sonique.. it was under development by Lycos.. and for the past few days ive been searching forums.. internet sites.. google.. and lots of other sources.. because honestly i couldnt remember the name to save my life.. i finally found it under the media player comparisons chart at Wikipedia… and when i find the name.. not only do i find that the software was discontinued.. but also to find out that my original copy of the software was a leaked software never actually released by Lycos.. or Team Sonique.. lol.. not really a big deal to me.. but the player was a good player for a beta.. i passed it to multiple people when i went to thae academy.. lol.. no big deal.. and then a few years pass and i completly forget how good of a player it is. I searched for a download to it.. and found only one that actually worked.. in the mean time i found articles about it.. and here is one of them

START ARTICLE!
ARTICLE FROM -http://www.rjamorim.com/rrw/sonique2.html

Once upon a time, an alpha of Sonique 2 was leaked (note: this isn’t the alpha/beta you see now on the official Sonique page. That beta - now dead too - was developed by the new development team. The alpha here was developed by the original team)

I remember sonique fans were completely hysterical about this alpha. They went to great lenghts to shut down every site hosting it, supposedly out of fear Lycos would drop development because of this high treason. The real reason, of course, is that they wanted to be the only “kool boyz” to own such a rare tool and flaunter it in front of helpless newbies that badly wanted it too.

A good image of how things were dealt with those days at the Sonique forums can be depicted by this protest article that was posted at one of them

Unfortunately for them, a copy landed in my hands. In yet another attempt to prove my theory that “once something appears on the Internet, no amount of effort can take it down” (check the recent leakage and distribution of Windows source code through peer to peer networks), I hosted it, accompanied by a very crude page, at my university server. And so RareWares was born.

So, here it is for you. The rage-inducing Sonique 2 alpha in all its unfinished glory. The interface is quite bloated, matter of factly, and functionality is minimal. Maybe I’m not really into eye-candy overkill… If this was the future of Sonique, it’s not a surprise it completely flunked.

Ah, yes. As it turns out, Lycos noticed they were just wasting money with their Sonique division and decided to fire all developers. An outcry ensued, and they hired two new developers to continue Sonique 2 development. Soon after, though, they realized they owed nothing to a handful of squabbling nerds with too much free time on their hands, and finally let Sonique die a (mostly) peaceful death.

If you are looking for old, official versions of Sonique 1, look at The Museum of Sonique.

Date: 2001-29-06
Version: 2.0 alpha
Interface: Graphical User Interface
Platform: Win32
Download: sonique2.zip - 1531Kb

• Feedback from Bits:

Andrew McCann himself stated/requested/pleaded that the leak needed to be stopped (as he was in negotiations to buy Sonique2 from Lycos), the leak could have potentially screwed things. (BTW it was leaked only accidently by Tony Million as he left it in a open dir on his private (yet publically accessible) home server @ http://www.tonymillion.com))

So it was nothing to do with fanboys trying to stop the world getting it.. it was merely holding back the leak until after negotiations had finished..

Secondly, the skin in the leaked alpha was merely a working demo and never intended to even ship with the player.. ever.

Thirdly Lycos sacked all bar Andrew and Ian.. Lycos did not intend to kill Sonique ever.. when Andrew and Ian quit on their own accord, Lycos later decided to locate more people to develop a program they never actually tried to completely kill (they merely needed to cut it back)

Of course all said is only to the best of my knowledge (I was there the hour the alpha was found on Tony’s ftp, I was talking to Tony when he said it was an accident but added (in the direction to the likes of Andrew and co.) “at least someone had the balls to release it” (or something close to that))

I was there when Andrew requested the leak to be stopped as soon as possible as it was potentially making things much worse for Sonique (he said it via the forum, IRC and ICQ, plus his girlfriend at the time Anna did as well, who BTW was the one who originally broke the month long silence about the mass layoff of Team Sonique).

Of course I am not Andrew or Tony or Ian and can’t speak for them. But my story is about 100x closer to what really happened compared to yours (I am confident my version is rather accurate)

To conclude the epic Sonique tale… Tony wrote Tuniac after he left Sonique (http://www.tuniac.com, or for a more recent compile go to http://www.wasteofcash.com/tuniac/ )

Currently we are lazy, and Tony believes he is now a photographer not a programmer. Blur is MIA. Tuniac2 with an OpenGL GUI, SQL database, etc, etc. is like 10% done (and for a month.. or two… has had no updates)

END ARTICLE!

anyway.. the whole thing is a big headache for me and everyone.. lol not really .. just thought i would share my experience for the past few days..then after i do all the searching.. i find the original beta sitting in a older hard drive that ive had since 9th grade.. INSANE LOL! NE WAY IM OUT FOR NOW! COMMENTS ARE NEEDED!

Rated TV-14 for Mature Language.

[Random Thought: When are they coming out with a “Chicken Soup for the Profane Soul”? That would be killer in sales, I think. Moving on…]

If you want to know what actually happened to 183 and don’t care to read my humorous introduction, find the “Start Editorial” mark.

Check out these numbers (in no particular order):

• 86
• 183
• 114
• 482
• 1382
• 12
• 30
• 75
• 356
• 35
• 348
• 354
• 635
• 33
• 289

What am I talking about? The latest combos at McDonald’s? The number of tracks I have from each of my favorite artists? None of the above. I was on every one of these highways today, and it was hell–even more than usual, but there’s an explanation for that. Half of them have alternate names.

Highways are hell, regardless of when over-sized and wide loads run into them. Some of them change names multiple times… Some of them are confusing as hell. For example, E. Northwest Hwy. Well, good luck trying to figure out which direction that fucking thing runs. Belt Line Rd. Oh goodness, the ever-prevalent Belt Line Rd. This bitch runs in every possible direction, and with aliases at its most southern point! This thing is east, west, north (with a different name), south, north, south (yes, twice), and then a four-digit road, then west. What the hell? Then I saw, “482: Storey Ln.” I thought, well, I only know of Story Rd., here in Irving, but 482 sounds familiar… Why didn’t they just say “Spur 482″ like they do on the other side, coming from 183 or Loop 12? No, the name is changed, and for about 30 feet, there’s a road called Storey Ln., made just to disorient you. Some highways are just in rush hour mode from sunrise to sunset. I-35. Need I say more?

I could go on and on about how much longer it took me to drive to meet up with my friend Kathryn for lunch (she works at Firewheel Shopping Center) and get back home than it did for me to actually find a good suit, a few good shirts, and some gorgeous ties. I could also go on by saying I had to pay a toll, three times, and the third time, I had thrown my change and it said I still owed 10 cents, and I reached down and found all I had–besides pennies– a quarter! Oh, what luck, I am saved! Right as I threw the quarter in, it said I already had enough money inserted and the light turned green and turned red before I entirely made it through. The car behind me just tailed my ass and didn’t pay at all. Irony, Irony, Irony. Everywhere.

I feel deep sympathy for this highway. All the shit that’s been exploded onto it, placed on it, run into it, time after time… Not to mention cars falling off of this highway in front of me, too. All of these things lead me to believe two things: 1) God hates Highway 183 (aka Airport Freeway, then Highway 10 if you’re heading West on it towards Euless), and 2) it’s time for an editorial since a majority of us didn’t seem to know why traffic was so painfully slow today, and heavy wherever it wasn’t necessarily moving at the rate of a tortoise.

—Start Editorial—

360 DEGREES OF CHAOS ON 183
By: Frederick Szczepanski

“One lane is now open…heading eastbound on the 183,” was the last I heard of the catastrophic blow to a bridge of 183, the most recent report on the radio station KRLD 1080, on a story which I was following since noon today. It was 7PM and I was just making it home. I was on my way to South Irving, near I-30 territory, coming from Fire Wheel Shopping Center.

WFAA’s reported stated “Highway 183 was closed in both directions near Texas Stadium Thursday afternoon after a truck carrying oil well drilling equipment struck an overpass over Loop 12.” Loop 12 North was closed off at this point.

Making the way around the metroplex, particularly through Irving, Dallas, and surrounding locales was quite challenging for many commuters. The Texas Dept. of Transportation, or TxDOT, urged commuters to avoid the area if at all possible.

A definite date and time for repair of the bridge, entirely, was unknown, but sources indicate that 183 should be open for business, but only at 66% capacity eastbound at last check. All roadways should be cleared and accessible by midnight.

Star-Telegram indicated, “Texas 183, or the Airport Freeway, was closed at two spots — eastbound at Carl Road and westbound at the 183/114 split — to allow TxDOT crews to work on the bridge. The eastbound frontage road of Texas 183 was still passable.”

The main cause for delay, aside from visible structural damage to multiple rungs beneath the bridge, was also the incredible amount of debris the collision caused.

Highway 183 has been involved in the press multiple times this past year in relation to accidents.

In May 2006, a gas tanker collided with the highway’s bridge while heading Northbound on MacArthur and exploded, killing the driver. A $636,000 emergency contract with Gibson & Associates emergency repair contract was drawn up shortly after. The bridge was fixed within days of the May 28th contract and accident. Parts of the bridge which were not damaged physically can still be seen covered with black smoke that originally came from the tanker’s gas contents.

In early August this year, a car made a sharp turn and lane change and ended up upside down on the southbound side of Story Rd., having fallen off from Highway 183. Paramedics and fire trucks were called to the scene for injuries, but all parties involved survived. The vehicle did not.
—End Editorial—

This is pretty unrelated, but I just had to throw this in. Seems like an old grandmother (is there any other kind?) decided to divert attention away, briefly, from the 183 mess to herself as she drove into a Post Office in Duncanville a few hours after the spotlight roadway event of the day.

Lesson of the day? Sometimes, Sprint’s location service doesn’t always work, and sometimes, roads are just plain vicious. And so are the drivers.