edward fox’s reality

So I have been working at Best Buy for about four months now. It’s been a pretty decent job, and the people are decent. Decent isn’t a word I use to compliments things, though.

I’m finally getting back into the groove of things. I’ve slacked off for long enough as far as school, chores, and me having to do things in general.

So welcome, fellow blog readers. It’s time for the reincarnation of the best blog posts you’ve ever read. Seriously.

One of my exes could be quoted saying, “I read nearly every blog post you ever wrote. You are amazing.” Well, if that doesn’t stand as any testament to something that should be read, I don’t know what does. Do I have to be pretty? I’m not too pretty, I don’t think. I’m just decent-looking. And again, that’s not a compliment.

So as far as Best Buy, there are so many long, drawn-out stories I can tell you about that. But am I going to tell you them? Am I going to bore you?…

…Yes.

I use short paragraphs when I’m just opening up a blog entry and just getting started. This means that since I have so many introductory paragraphs, my actual post will probably be decently long. I have a lot to get out of my system.

First and foremost, I somewhat still cannot stop thinking about my ex, and we hopefully all know who that is, though my ex probably already forgot about me. I even set up a number and keep that number open, and only he knows the number, and @#&^@ can call me anytime, day or night… @#%^! hasn’t utilized that feature lately, so this next month’s charge of $4.95 will probably be useless.

I do care a lot. I do. Maybe that’s the problem.

I hadn’t talked to my best friend (BEEEST FRIEND! You’re awesome! =) in about four days, and then when we finally ‘re-established contact’, like a space shuttle coming out from behind the moon’s shadow attempting to contact Home, it was like nothing had happened. It was like no time had passed. It was like no confusion had occurred.

His mom had randomly called me from his cellphone, and with all due respect, I don’t talk to random people through one’s cellphone, which reminds me of another story, but that’s not till later. (You know, I always say that, but I never really get around to all my stories… Oh well. Guess that always leaves something for later.) She then proceeded to yell, “WHO ARE YOU? TALK!!! I KNOW YOU’RE THERE!” and then Alex asked me what happened… Hmm. I didn’t mind that he didn’t know what had happened, but it just felt like there wasn’t any emotion behind it… I mean, we had not talked for four days. That meant that he didn’t come over on Tuesday when he was supposed to, and that we didn’t chat online or talk on the phone, so no communication at all. Turns out I won’t be able to see him at least for another week, which sucks bad… But sometimes, Alex has an odd way of expressing himself, and I understand that.

Alex has the best personality ever. I know many reasons as to why he does, and that’s all I need to know.

If he was anyone else, even a best friend of mine, I would question him, complain, moan and groan, and get rid of him… But I know that his mind is different, and he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, which I love, so that makes everything perfect. No matter what happens in our friendship, I know it will all turn out beautifully.

Speaking of friendships, I met someone new yesterday (OK, it won’t be yesterday by the time I finish this blog, but as of now, it was yesterday). His name is … ::Thinks:: … LAWRENCE! Isn’t that a great name? Sorta reminds me of Christopher Lawrence. ANYWAY. We got to talking and he seems like a great person. Don’t you hate that word? “Seems”? Who really seems anything? I just don’t know what else to put there. I know he’s cool and I know he’s awesome, so maybe that’s more suiting.

I apologize for not updating in forever, so I’m trying to jam as much… ::stuff:: in here as I possibly can (while keeping it at a G Rating! Oh how I love my rating system.)

So a few incidents have happened at Best Buy. Well, countless. For starters, I’ve been witting at least four times officially, and at least six or seven with the ‘unofficial’ ones included in that mix (probably more considering all the things I’ve done wrong). I remember getting into an argument with a full-time employee, and for the sake of legal arguments, this happened outside of work. She was saying I didn’t [care] about my job and that I only went into work to get a paycheck. I’m not going to tell what my response was because I’m a smug little fudger, and you can probably guess it now. But regardless, I do try at that job, and I do not [screw] Best Buy over like she claims I do. But that was all just ignorance talking.

Right now, I was supposed to talk to Lawrence, but I don’t know what’s happened. He just sort of stopped talking to me and I’m just sort of over here wondering what’s going on. I don’t know why little things bother me so much, and it isn’t that he did anything wrong. It just makes me feel ignored sort of. Earlier, I was hoping to meet him at his house around noon or so, but he didn’t wake up until 2pm, and I understand that because he was tired, and he even called me… but right now, he isn’t saying anything.

Sometimes people make me feel crappy. A lot of times they do. I guess that’s what humans are supposed to do. That’s also the advice I give. Always try to make yourself happy first. that’s not something I ever really practice, though. Everyone always thinks I’m a selfish son of a @#%^# that wants everything centered around me. I enjoy attention, but I’d never steal it away from someone else.

Notice how this blog is starting to have a negative edge to it.

I always give. It seems that that is all I do, and half my co-workers at work ignore me because they think I’m weird or evil or whatever. I guess I’m not even important enough to get an explanation (???)…

That shouldn’t happen, however, in my social life. People say to not question things. That makes you feel bad, and you always fear the worst. Well, what else is there to fear? The phrase wouldn’t make sense if it read, “Always Fear the Good and the Best”, now would it?

I told Lawrence I have a short temper, and I have nothing against him, but everyone just seems to sort of be ignoring me right now… but that’s how life is. We all have to take care of ourselves.

So why does it seem so out of place when I want to try to make other people feel special? I get way too clingy to people way too fast. And unfortunately, I won’t be able to genuinely hang out with Alex for at the minimum, another week, which sucks. It’s already been almost a week since we saw each other last (if not a week– I’ve lost count)… I’m losing a lot of friends for no true reason. It just seems that people don’t really want to talk to me anymore.

This has nothing to do with tonight. No one’s acted differently; no one has done anything wrong; no one made me angry. I never get angry. Everyone always thinks that. Why? Because I’m yelling?

You know, sad people yell, too. Some of you should try it. I’m not sad, though, so what gives? I just get disappointed really easily. People vanish and leave faster than they actually entered my life. I’m reminded of one friend, Caleb, who stopped talking to me completely because he made me get lost for an hour all over the highway. It only took 35 minutes to get back home, but it took an extra hour on top of that 35 to get to his house. The worst part about it was the fact that he was on the phone the entire time with me, and he had gone to my house three times, and he still didn’t know how to get to his house from mine. Once I arrived, I only had less than thirty minutes to actually hang out with him. So my ratio of driving to visiting was 4:1. Pitiful, eh?

Well, whatever. Turns out he never really enjoyed hanging out with me.

So (I’m going to sound like a Best Buy meeting-ARGH!) here are your key Take-Aways:
1) Act yourself. (where the hell did that come from? Oh yeah. That last blurb about Caleb. Don’t fake your emotions towards me. I can handle people being upfront about not liking me. I can’t as easily handle having strong emotions for you later on, then you saying you have and HAD none for me).

2) Think of others. Yeah, we all get taught this in Kindergarten, but somewhere around 1st grade, we lose that art of treating each other with respect. Go figure. If you didn’t read anything above and only read this (smart! NOT! :P), try doing something different: be extra nice to just one person– the person you’ll be with the most for that day. Not your usual nice… Go out of your way. See if you can make that person feel like the most important person on Earth. That’s what I’ve done with Lawrence, but I won’t do that for just one day… I hope I’ll do that forever.

3) Be friends! Come on. I’m not that freaky.

That’s it. Welcome to the regular blog posting session.