edward fox’s reality

Rated TV-PG for a Romantic Rectum of Reality.

I’m disappointed in myself… whenever I write cheesy blogs I don’t send out a notice annoying their posting.

I’m eating way too much, I’ve been more disrespectful towards people, and I feel sick… I haven’t really ‘talked’ to Zack this weekend so that doesn’t help me feel better…

I’m sad. I told Zack that I was annoyed with him, and that wasn’t the case… sometimes it’s better to not even be online, at all! I just mess things up when I’m really tired and bored, and this new time schedule really aggravates me…

*Vomits on Self*

I’m so disgusted with myself. I think that’s a fairly accurate representation… I didn’t do all my homework, but I half did my english homework (which means I didn’t actually put *effort* into it, and somewhat BSed, though two websites on the internet helped me…

I’m going to point out all the things I’m annoyed with.

1) The School District [Aren’t we all?] I sent this e-mail to ####@irvingisd.net:

—–Original Message—–
From: t3hf0xb0x [mailto:###@drnx.net]
Sent: Friday, October 29, 2004 5:03 PM
To: ### ###
Subject: RE: Academy Law Site

Iâ??m wonderingâ?¦

When do you think they will be able to put more rights on our laptop?…

And no one came to see me todayâ?¦ what happened? Heh.

F. Szcz.
————————-

I then received this reply:

No, not today (Friday). Heâ??s coming to see you and Tara on Tuesday during 1st/2nd period. And I donâ??t think that they will put more rights on your laptop. I think they may make you a local administrator on one of the desktops either in Mr. Gearâ??s room or in the courtroom. And that may take a whileâ?¦.

————————-

I was so *ECSTATIC* after reading this that I even incorrectly used singular/plural relationships in my reply:

Subject: RE: Academy Law Site
From: ###@drnx.net
Date: Sat, October 30, 2004 3:51 pm
To: “###”
Cc: TaraAnsley@MyInternPartner
I’m just wondering why we’re being disrespected by being denied things
that would make my life easier.

I would like to have a personal talk with whomever is thinking that it is
okay for one district website’s (which will most likely be the most
maintenance over any of them with possible exception to Irvingisd.net)
webmasters to not have the proper rights… I’m not annoyed… not yet,
anyway. And even if that doesn’t get me anywhere, why will it take so long
to get rights on the desktop? Why are they trying to treat us like we will
abuse the power given to us? Do they not know that, the more power given
to someone, the more control and discretion they have with that power?

F. Szcz.

Yay…. I gotta go! Thirteen Ghosts = Now…

[Currently Listening to Bush ~ Machinehead — Amazon.com It! Click here.]

That’s all for now….

———Edit @ 9:21 PM, 10/31/04———
There’s more, now.

So many things annoy me. It’s such an endless list. Why why why?

+People that I’ve gone out with in the past. They need to just die. Naturally. Whatever. Just some way. Soon.
+I feel tired. The time change did not help, at all.
+More people that I’ve gone out with.
+People who get sympathy because they’re pretty, and skinny,
+Me!!!

That’s right! The more annoyed I am with myself, the more I am annoyed with other people!

BACK ON MY DIET! I’m sick of this!!!

I have been inhaling FATTENING foods like crazy these past few weeks. NO MORE. I have resisted temptation before… I’ll try to exercise now, but I doubt that will happen… I’ll try to exercise tomorrow, but who knows?

—
Tomorrow, I am supposed to go with my ‘date’ (if you will) to find coordinating:
+Sunglasses
+Watches
+Shoes
+Belts
+Other things?…

We’re planning to either both wear a lot of pink, and if I cannot find a pimp pink watch (I only found one on Nixon’s site– great watches… =) I will wear coordinating items (as in same watch type, same sunglass type etc) except in blue…

I want us to both wear red. She doesn’t want to. *Tears* indeed…

Maybe. Tomorrow is the Planning Phase. Thursday = Purchasing Phase.

Rated TV-PG for a Spooky Spontaneous Dose of Realitical Substance! (Reality)

Last night, I kept waking up. I don’t know why… around 4:15 or so! So that means I thought about Zack even more than my daily quota.

Anything eventful happen lately? Nope… not one thing… well… (:

If you recall that previous blog that was partially protected, that same person… well, I finally gathered up enough energy to talk to @#%^!% (and totally forgot about planning a speech and writing a letter–good thing… you’ll see.) …. I walk up to the… person, and said, “Hi! Do you remember me from two years ago?”

@^!%%#% looked at me evilly, and just walked off.

Isn’t that too touching? I felt so loved… Not?

Such a lovely song… comin’ up. Now.

——-Song Break——-
[Hand Typed Lyrics–May Contain Errors =]

DJ Tiesto ~ Sweet Misery

Do you even intend on…
telling me… telling me…

Can you feel it ending?…
Slowly?…

I’m scared to…
Fall into you..

I want to…
Feel you, touch you, know you…

I want to…
So why don’t you set my free…
Into… Sweet… Misery?

*yay for t3h funky b34ts!*

feed me.. feed me…
It’s getting to show…
Feed me…

I’m scared to…
Fall into you.

I want to…
Feel you, touch you, know you…

Sweet Misery…

I want to…
Feel you, touch you, know you…
——End Song Break——

Back to topic, sort of… That was so cruel;. I had a concert last night… Oops, forgot to mention that (I’m typing this at 6:50 AM _today_ — sometimes I forget certain details.) The concert involved all three high schools, and all the middle schools. There were way too many instruments there to count, but since I was assisting the directorr, there were approximately 330 students that showed up. I’m most certain we were expecting more, but it’s a good thing that not so many showed up, mainly because of the fact that we simply didn’t have enough chairs.

I can’t believe I was rejected just for a simple conversation. Like woah. It took me so much energy, and I looked so forward to it… that is gone, but alas, I don’t need to give up hope. Life is just peachy (:

I have a best friend rhat is more than I could ever ask for in life, combined. It’s amazing how when you truly find someone, all the other elements of disappointment… sometimes seem to fade away. You know that phrase, “Money Buys Happiness”? I’d like to question that…

If money buys happiness, how come some of the richest people in the world are some of the most obnoxious and depressed? I’d hate to be, say, a movie star. You have a constantly pressured life, have to put up with people running up to you, wanting to talk to you, and you have to live your life in hiding. Que tipo de vida es eso?! (Sorry– I’m in Spanish 3H and yesterday when she asked ‘what kind of verb do you use?’ I was the only one to answer ‘Imperfect’ so she said ‘At least one person knows what they’re doing in here.’) Lol. but what I said was “What kind of life is that?” It’d be fun to have money, but if I had to trade $1 Trillion for Zack, I highly doubt … well, I know that wouldn’t happen.

Sometimes you can’t do better (as in my situation), and sometimes, maybe you’re just not living to satisfy yourself first, then others. (Maybe how I am sometimes, but definitely less than most people).

Most people think I’m a depressed lonely person who has no friends and doesn’t talk to anyone or want to be social at all.. If you gathered this simply from how I am during class or the fact that I am all spontaneous most of the time, or because I’m not exactly skinny… you are horribly mistaken. I understand that people who look a certain way will change how you perceive the world, but give me a chance? (: I’m really not all that bad…

And, here’s one for the kid in all of us.

Happy Halloween… Party in English IV 4 today =)

Rated TV-PG for Mild Language.

I don’t know why I’m listening to a commercial about tongue scrapers on Sirius Satellite Radio. It sucks that some of their talk stations that are independently owned (CNN, CourtTV, FOXNews, Discovery! Radio, etc.)

Quite a bit has happened, but I don’t recall it all… :tears:

First and foremost, during 8th period, we totally wasted time and did nothing. Thankfully we’re not being paid yet (Tara and me)… Here’s a quick pic snapped by her. It’s blurry and awful, but you get the idea of the costume I had to wear for Orchestra:

I know, very (un) sexie. At least Zack thinks it’s pretty. And, of course Tara

I wanted to go see my love Nathan
I’m going to randomly choose someone to ramble about… and I guess it’ll be Nathan. *Shh don’t let him know I typed this ;-)* Actually I’m going to tell him to read it… why not? It’s a compliment for me to select someone to ramble about =)

Something that we unfortunately don’t see anything of lately is a) people acting like themselves and b) people being respectful. Yes, me of all people to talk, but simply because I slip up on occasion, does that mean that no one should at least listen to what I have to say. Maybe that’s why no one ever really says they read my blog. It’s just too damned honest.

Going back to Nathan, honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone sweeter, yet still able to act mature when needed, and random when wanted. I would love being a closer friend of his
Enough with that. Let’s talk about acceptance of things. I’m one of many people who aren’t popular for one true reason–I [we] don’t give in. What does that mean? Maybe that means I don’t give into being ‘into’ what everyone else is… I guess that could include jeans, the types of music most people like [raves for me! rock concerts and rap videos for j00!], clothing styles… everyone has a style. I’d like to think that (this is pre-year-2005… you’ll see what I mean in about 2 months… don’t worry) I don’t follow any particular path as far as getting dressed in the morning. I do my best to be honest with people, try to make sure they don’t make the same mistakes I do, and tell them before they possibly cause a problem for themselves, or get into a jam because someone else didn’t want to help them (Yay for using too many words in a sentence =)

[Now Listening to: DJ Tiesto ~ Adagio For Strings — Amazon.com It! Click Here]

Unfortunately, most people don’t like that… This morning I was sitting on the bus all enjoying my music and letting progressive slowly take over my mind (perfect. Do I even have a mind? Lol. I think this blog is the only thing that keeps me from losing my total ability to think even halway through things.) With the invention of computers, that really causes a shortfall as far as… Oh boy I’m drifting.

Anyway, he interrupted me while I was trying to listen to music, and I was like Argh! Why do you talk to me!…

It’s currently Wednesday. My mommy kicked me off the desktop comp. at home at 9:00, even though her normal scheduled kick-off is at 9:30…

I haven’t really talked about my person that I think about every day and night… Zackie. The previous few weeks, I hadn’t really felt anything like I had before for him, as far as being really close to him
But the past few nights/days, that’s changed… (You can tell I’m getting more personal when I use more …’s =) Anyway, I’ve thought about him more, and I know that on occasion I probably act as if he (and everyone else) isn’t important to me… that’s just because of how people sometimes make me feel.

For example, Tim (Palmer, if you must [know last names]) was being an arse on Tuesday and wouldn’t let me have a piece of his biscuit and I didn’t talk to him past then. It seems that the more I’m around him, the less I can actually stand him as a friend. I guess I’m just not good with most people when they are actually my friend… I rarely consider anyone my friend… A lot of people are my friends even though I don’t talk to them much (or so you think?)… Rehan’s one example [Rehan Arshed]. He’s my movie buddy, basically.

So let’s talk about more rights on laptop. Hm? Let’s keep this on the down-low, but numerous plans were discussed about giving more rights to us (Tara, me) on the laptop. I constantly stumble across new plans for the website… or find new ways to incorporate previous ideas. For example, today I found the WMPv9SDK (I smushed all that together so that you either do know what it means or you don’t know what it means) and I was thinking that would be great, but I couldn’t actually test it out or anything before submitting the idea for final review because I didn’t have enough rights, so late-breaking news… we might be getting them, according to Ms. Hylemon, as an admin on the local laptop (not Active-Directory inherited.)

Anyway, it’s Wednesday night… I was in the attic for most of the evening wiring my home theater system *cries*… while in the lower corner of the attic I leaned up (BARELY) and had a nail go through my skin to my spine. Oh that was hilarious. Hehe.

I love muh buddy Zackie… I wished I couldn’t talked to him more. Sometimes you feel like you have no one, like you’re completely alone… well, at least other people might. I never feel alone. I always have my Zack
If you didn’t feel like reading that, Nathan’s awesome, Tara’s entertaining, Zack’s the best EVAR, zack zack zack!, and, I’m probably going to get local ‘rights’ on my laptop to do anything I want to *yay*. G’night.

I can’t really tell you what it is, since I just saw a link for it randomly, clicked signed up and then subscribed to it… all I know is that I checked Hotmail and got these nifty things:

Click the image to see full-size (Reduced by 75%) screenshot

Yay for 25MB of Space. Yay for Free Internet Service. Yay for advanced junkmail features. Yay for 5MB Attachment limit. Yay for …

I found a press release for it. It’s long. Enjoy.

::Edit:: It _was_ too long… I’ll just paste the main features. Full release available here: MS Press Pass Link

Multiple accounts with extensive storage. MSN Premium helps customers get their whole family online by delivering 11 accounts for each subscription (one primary account and 10 additional accounts). The primary e-mail inbox includes a generous 25 MB of storage and support for attachment sizes up to 10 MB. The secondary accounts, which include 10 MB of storage and support for 3MB attachments, can be used to manage multiperson households and help customers get their whole family online or establish multiple e-mail identities for the primary subscriber.

MSN Mail inbox, calendar and address book. MSN Designer E-Mail and Photo E-Mail. MSN Premium customers can easily share their digital pictures with friends and family through MSN Mail, MSN Messenger and MSN Groups (subscription includes 30 MB of MSN Groups storage).

Multiple e-mail account management with MSN Mail. With MSN Mail, customers can easily manage multiple MSN and MSN Hotmail® accounts in the MSN Mail interface without having to log into or out of each individual account.

Microsoft Office Outlook Connector for MSN. –One of my favorite features… The new Outlook® Connector for MSN allows consumers to use Outlook XP or Outlook 2003 to manage their e-mail, calendars, address books and other information stored in an MSN or MSN Hotmail account.

MSN Photo Swap via MSN Messenger. MSN Premium customers can share their favorite digital photos with others in real time while they chat about the photos using the innovative MSN Messenger service. The photos are optimized for sharing over the Internet.

Virus Guard and Firewall powered by McAfee Security. (I didn’t download this crap. I don’t need it)…

Automatic e-mail scanning and cleaning. When MSN subscribers access their e-mail using the MSN software or a Web browser, McAfee technology automatically scans each message for known viruses while the messages are still on the incoming e-mail server.

Multilevel junk e-mail protection. MSN delivers multilevel junk e-mail protection, including Microsoft® SmartScreen Technology that helps ensure e-mail remains a useful communications tool.

Pop-up Guard. With the new Pop-up Guard, customers decide which pop-ups they see and which ones they don’t. This feature uses smart technology to intelligently determine whether a pop-up being generated from a Web site should be presented or blocked.

(Where is all this stuff coming from? I didn’t install most of this… so I have no clue. Lol)

MSN Parental Controls. Yeah right. I’m going to install that one. Ha.

Customizing customer experience. MSN Premium software includes a dashboard, which provides a customized and personal view of a selection of features chosen by the customer - from a photo show of their favorite photos to easy access to incoming e-mail, online contacts, their calendar and customized alerts, to a traffic map of their area highlighting current incidents.

MSN Encarta Premium. The new MSN Encarta® Premium complements the innovative and compelling features of the No. 1 best-selling encyclopedia brand.

Also, MSN Photo and Money Plus.

That’s all for now! gbye.

I don’t want to degrade.

[I
[I
[I
[I
[I
Later.

[I
[I
[I
[I
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If you don’t want to read this post edited, you can view it *unedited* at the following link:
www.drnx.net/bl0gz/1022041.htm

I tried to remember when I last wrote in this thing. Ah, Tuesday. (Going back to the Index helps…)

Wow. There are a few things that I really want to talk about, and some of them are sensitive issues…

I have to edit, I guess, but will post the unedited version which can be accessed with “Administration” level passwords (people like Antonio, and anyone with a password to the CGI-Proxy can view it)…

Two years ago, I met someone. I’m sure I’ve rambled about this person at least once, but I’ll do it again.

During Solo competition, I had seen these 3 people from another school , and this one person in particular that really, REALLY, caught my eye, like w0ah. *Faints* Hair, really long… Skin, Dark… Smooth… Beautiful
I still like guys, and by this… I mean the following: I will generally give guys the upper-hand as far as trusting them, wanting to be their friends, etc. This is simply because, my apologies, but most guys are more interesting than _most_ girls. So what does this mean? This continues my theory about being attracted to someone based on what’s inside, just by seeing what’s on the outside.

We all talk about inner “beauty”, but that’s not the bullshit I’m talking about. As we all know, that’s a cheap phrase ugly people use to make themselves feel better. Sorry, folks, but we all see through that… *tears*? I’m talking about what makes me so turned on, or moved, or emotional

While I was trying to type this, a few people were being retarded on AIM. They are now removed from my buddy list, mainly because they are…. YOU GUESSED IT. Somewhat obnoxious. That’s OK, though. Occasionally, I have a shor temper, mainly because I don’t get what I want to get, accomplished. At least one of them said that they were going to stop talking, though, but, too late…

Geez. I seem like an asshole tonight. Mainly because I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to, and I’m not talking about my blog. See…I feel that I could just tell him anything, like wow… I’m attracted, but because of who, he, is. This sounds retarded, because it sounds common, but I work in reverse.

I seriously do think I have been given an extended ability to see how people are, from the start. I know a lot of people make assumptions, which are biased, but I’d like to believe my assumptions are accurate from the start. They’ve held true in numerous cases, except I’ve had a few slip-ups with respectful (basically, nice) people such as David Wilkins… but let’s not get into that topic! Like w0ah. You should already know that I’ve messed up a lot with him, and I truly do love him to death. He really has helped me as far as keeping a little more tact in myself and conscience (OMG?! You have one of those?! :P)

I’m totally nervous, and I’ve been doing this at any events which involve all the 3 high schools, for 2 YEARS now. But reality finally hit me today…

I had to get off the computer last night. Unfortunately, I had a long argument and my mother kept telling me that I hadn’t been listening to her… she kept yelling for about 45 minutes. I actually wanted to go to sleep, and I would ramble about this topic but it doesn’t seem important… so, back to what I was talking about previously. It’s currently friday. *Yay*?

So, as for the reality, I realized that I could have actually walked up to him without other people around him and explain to him what I could not before. I just thought you seemed like a great person to talk to from what I could see inside, from you outside.” I’m sure that wouldn’t make sense either… so I’m planning on basically trying to get him away from other people (and also take a picture of him so you people know who I’m talking about since I know you otherwise won’t–redundant?)…

I was on the bus this morning, and I was quite tired. As usual. I wished I had gone to sleep earlier, but thankfully, it is Friday yet again, and I get to relax (sort of) for another weekend… Let’s talk about how progress is with the Academy Law Review website (that’s what it’s been named, by Tara and me.) Yesterday, I spent a large amount of the time searching for an RSS feed that would be suitable to be presented on the site… some of them have advertisements, and others don’t, which is a good thing. Some have descriptions, others… you get the idea. Anyway, it took a really long time and that took up most of the time yesterday, and there was a brief meeting with the IT director here and Mr. Gear… Fun, Fun Stuff…

So tonight, Antonio should be coming over… after being anticipated for weeks and months.. Lol.

That will be all for this week (not -end!)

BULGARIAN PRETTY PERSON = Hot. That’s all for now. I’ll type more gibberish, but for now, I must go to a rehearsal for Orchestra

Rated TV-PG. Mature Content.

The second half of this post deviates from the normal foxbox bloggin’ trend of posting…

Let’s start out with my internship. I have what might not be a “fake internship”, but actually one with benefits. Apparently, all the internships at the Academy (that actually work at the Academy) get paid money… so instead of asking (directly for money, we’re going to ask if we can have name badges that say we are interns, and of course, those badges have Employee IDs, and those IDs link to payrolls, which link to
the bank (=

I hope that’s how it works, because I already have huge plans for where that money is going to go. Clothes, cars, and a shiny new watch or three.

But, first, let’s talk about how my day was on Monday… if you care to read (:

Monday morning, let’s see, I arrived late at the bus stop because… anyway, and I had to run run run all the way from my street corner to where the bus was (approximately a half a block or so, not too long but for me? Ha.)… and my grandmother left yesterday so this means I return to an empty house once more, for about 7-9 months. I enjoy my alone time. I think that’s what made me cranky a lot of the time, was that I simply didn’t have time to yourself. Time to myself really isn’t simply me being alone in my room, since I leave my room open all the time and am not really private about that kind of thing. I consider my life to be quite open, but whne it comes to my alone time, I want no one in the house, mainly so that I can just sit or do whatever on my own time and not have anyone bother me…

This doesn’t mean I always want to be alone, but a good 30-60 minutes a day will be fine for me (:

If you didn’t want to read all that, I shall disgress. I have always been someone who doesn’t spend a lot of money, EVAR, on clothing. However, with an internship, I feel I have a need to be a little bit more splurging with my funds, since, well, they’re _mine_. Leeching isn’t very nice, and a lot of kids do it. They try to take as much money as they can so that they can get a lot of *neat* things… I’ve never been someone to do that. If anything, I’ve always tried to prevent my mother from spending money.

I had forgotten what I wrote yesterday morning. It’s now Tuesday night, and I shall finish what I already started…

Let’s describe anything interesting that happened Monday…. all right, nothing. Today, I did the “internship” thing and didn’t start working until near the end, then I didn’t want to stop and showed up around 11:30
(30 minutes late) to my next class (PE!! OMG!) and did lots of interesting stuff in there… not. While I was in there, someone had their laptop taken away.

WHOO SPONTANEOUS WRITING TOPIC: Girls are Mostly Bitch-ish.

I’m going to privately exposé myself. Lol. Major Punnage. (Not Pwnage, but Pun … age).

I don’t know what you want to call this, but whatever. I’m sure Marcos will show this to the guy (or he should)… and I’m doing this while talking to a v. attractive girl that I will probably go out with (with minimal effort I might add). *Yes, part of this was edited out from what you got in your subscription notice because it just doesn’t make sense?! Lol.*

Moving on, Here’s his name…
INTELligence boi: what’s his full name…
INTELligence boi: or most of it
CondeClon: Abraham Ghandarelliasomething
CondeClon: I’ve never been able to spell his last name
INTELligence boi: I think unspellable names are hot

So I have this weird asphyxiation with him. Trust me. This still relates to girls.

So, a few days ago… last Friday (October 15th, 2004) I had to go to the cafeteria instead of the pep rally. I don’t do pep rallies. I don’t go to Nimitz except for one class, so I have no school pride with that school…
or the Academy. Muahaha. Anyway. Marcos is a friend I know from Orchestra and while we sat there, his
friend with that name above (Abraham something) walked over to our table. I thought he was pretty at first, then he seemed really nice.

I have this thing. I’ll like someone way more if they smile a lot. He did that. And he entertained me thoroughly… really, I think he’s quite close to perfect. He’s really sweet as far as just knowing him, and I swear, if
I was to to want to get to know anyone, it’d be him. Of course, my chances of actually getting closer with someone that likes me back is (as we all know) slim to none. However, he isn’t annoying or anything that I’ve found with some guys. That’s what makes him so great think — I know he wasn’t serious.

Oh, so why are girls bitches? Lol. I didn’t forget. It’s just, most girls wouldn’t be that nice. And I was sort of testy with him at first. That’s mainly just a kindness test. He passed quite well.

In closing, I know, I didn’t make that good a point, but that is because it is LATE! It’s 10:40 PM right now, and I need to get to bed (as my mom is telling me now), but if he (you) ever does (do) read this, I think
you’re really nice! And such. Heh. Well, I hope I get to talk to you more eventually, email or in person–I don’t mind which.

That’ll be it for now… Let’s see. Today wasn’t all that eventful, except I like to recap on what’s happened before. It becomes that much more exciting. (:

Now it’s Wednesday, and I’m not being interrupted by a) phone calls, b) mother yelling, and c) AIM. Going back to girls. You may or may not know that I had asked out four girls and they all came up with unique little excuses. I thought most of them were OK, and some of them were funny, but they were all worth sharing with people… so what makes most girls simply untolerable (by me, in a relationship)? The fact that…

Most girls don’t really express how they feel. It’s one of those weird habits, and I know some guys that do it, too. I know that some people think I’m insane whenever I express that I’m angry with something, but I sometimes like my solution better. I had made this one girl angry (even though it wasn’t entirely my fault) and she told me about it on AIM 8 or so hours later after it happened that she was mad, but she didn’t mention anything while I was with her. So, how effective was her argument? I had already forgotten, thought everything was OK, then she brings it up. That annoys me more, and I had much less sympathy once I already thought that nothing was wrong. This is just one of the reasons that I say to bring something up, if it’s worth bringing up. I thought it was, but the timing seemed off….

I want to revisit the topic of the Arthur person mentioned above ^^ I know there isn’t a lot to say right now except I hope he reads this, and I still want his email! I’m sure Marcos will be nice enough to pass along the info.

I had to retract this post because the wording of certain things was off and I’m sure it would have been misinterpreted by at least a few of the people that subscribe to the blog.

Rated TV-14 for Mature Language. Ground-Breaking Reality. Traumatic and Shocking! Discretion is barely advised.

This was originally from Friday:
I’m on my way to Nimitz right now, on the early bus. Loads of fun ind33d. Anyway, today was another really enjoyable day, aside from the fact that some people made me really mad. There wasn’t any reason for most of it.

So, basically, in PE, this girl (which I later found out has ‘mental issues’, according to @#$%@$ — censored for legal reasons) kept staring at me, and started saying ignorant things. I said my usual pep talk to the girls: “Let’s keep it going Ladies!” while they were doing aerobics. And she’s like “Why are you doing that?” and I was telling her because that was what was on the video (even though I wasn’t doing the aerobic part)… Nothing annoys me more than ignorant comments, so with that, I told her to turn around, then thank you. She didn’t turn around, and proceeded to say that I’m ugly. I told her, “And you’re skinny.” (both being either true or untrue, if she was right, and in which case, if I’m ugly, she’s fat, etc… I hope you get my point)… She didn’t back off. She said “I’m going to kick his ass afterschool” to some other girl which probably wasn’t paying attention to her. Me being my natural self, I yelled the PE teacher’s name, Mrs. Stewart, and said “TEACHER!! She’s threatening me!” (I sound so kiddish… I love it.) She said that I shouldn’t involve the rest of the class with my personal issues between only me and someone else.

After that, she moved, and she continued to say things of threatening context. I got sick of her, so I said, “I’m sorry, but I do not like obnoxious globules of fat.” With that, she walked up to me, proceeded to hit me, then kick me on the side, among saying “SAY IT TO MY FACE!!!” in a pathetically weak, yet attempted threatening manner. I made her cry. I feel bad. Not.

I’ve sort of left my conscience at home today, it seems. I have no regard for other people’s emotions today. I said someone else was too fat in front of one of my friends that I eat lunch with, and he’s not the skinniest person on earth. Is that in itself a rude comment? I hope not…

During English, I really lost it. I was trying to connect my internet cable to various outlets in the room since the one in the middle of the room wasn’t working. Well, I asked these people at the table next to us to switch seats, and she didn’t even ask why. She just said, “No” because she’d have to move her AC Adapter connection from one outlet to another. Boo-Hoo? I just lost it. Then the other guy at the table was saying really pointless things that just made it worse. And I was like, “Fuck it. You don’t want to help but it’s going to come back up and fuck you in the ass. Not literally. But maybe literally, since 1 out of every 3 women are sexually assaulted so you might get lucky.” When I say “I was like”, I wasn’t saying this directly to them. Sometimes I’m just so annoyed that I have to express things aloud–my apologies.

Tell me, was I annoyed or not?

–Now on to Saturday. And a mix with today.–

Saturday was all right. I went to All-Region tryouts (for Orchestra) an hour early, around 10:30. I stayed there until 3:00, which was rather late… we had not actually started until 1:30PM or so, and they crammed 25 participants into one room. We had to each play four cuts. I screwed up badly on the first one, and the second one, well, I was just making things up. On the third and fourth, however, I didn’t sound that bad and at the end of the fourth one (and final) I began to laugh. I was that entertained by how badly I sucked.

I ran into someone that had the name CALIXTO. How incredibly awesome is that name? It is so awesome that I would marry it (among other things) if it was a human, simply because of that name.

I loved it so much that I went out and bought myself two happy little domain names:

www.calixto.name
www.calixto.info

They all point to the homepage of my site but I will change that eventually… I am planning on changing my name to that once I get out of college. Anyone disagree? Good (:

All-Region gave me a wake-up call that I really do need to do better in Orchestra. I’m sure that, with just a few hours of practice, I would sound much better. I need to buy a little tuner so that I know my pitch is right. A lot of times, I think I’m right, but sometimes I’m usually off by a very small (but still noticeable) amount.

For anyone who *doesn’t* know, I’m still in Orchestra at Nimitz and play the violin. I made 12th place at All-City… let’s see what I make in Region. Ha. I won’t make it. I know I won’t. And if I do, I hate being 2nd Violin! They get no interesting melody, but that’s all for that.

Yesterday, someone actually left me a message, my little brother (not factually or actually) Antonio. No one’s actually *left* a message in years… 4 to be exact? Unless it was school-related… but yes, people do call me, despite my extreme inclination to not be social

I say that I am not social not because I don’t want to be, but I’m guessing because most people automatically assume that I don’t want to talk to them. For whatever reason, I don’t know. Maybe because I’m not skinny? I watched a special on a spanish channel about how these skinny people went out to separate places. One faked as if she needed to fix a flat tire on the side of the road, and the other went to a club. The woman (with the flat) had numerous guys come up to help her, whereas the guy (in the club) danced with 7+ girls within an hour.

When they added the extra 50lbs. to make them appear obese (Obese=30lbs or more overweight), no one stopped to help the woman, and as for the guy, no one even wanted to get near them.

It’s so ironic, because they were both so fashion-conscious, and even though the guy is straight, they both inevitably ended up crying because the experience was so horrid.

Now you all understand with what I’ve had to deal with for so long, and most of you know this by now… Appearance of someone matters more than what is on the inside.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll say it again. If I do choose anyone, it’ll be based on this simple scale:
51% Intelligence,
49% Looks.

Basically, if you are courteous (which requires a large amount of intelligence) and know how to hold conversations (ditto), and I can tell that you’ve utilized your brain more often than the moon is blue, you will pass my test. If, however, you are drop-dead gorgeous but have a lack of ability in the social interaction/in-depth conversation department (and I don’t mean simply being able to walk up to someone and start talking about what they’re wearing, the weather, how they are, simple little middle-school things to get a date, basically) then you will be told, hopefully nicely, by me, that you are not good enough. Oh, and, one more thing, you can’t use drugs regularly, unless it’s Ecstasy (: (You’d be surprised by how many people misspell that.)

I have a feeling that I’ve become somewhat more socially acceptable. Some poeple still act spontaneously against me (for example, refusing my hug) and that, of course, makes me feel bad… another instance was when I didn’t bring money to the All-Region tryout.

I hadn’t expected on staying that long, and they started selling pizza. Well, I asked a few people for money, and 2 of them had some but refused to give it to me. I acted like it was no big deal to them (except for one who refused then offered 30 minutes later after which I told him to go away quite loudly) but deep down, I felt as if I wasn’t important enough or human enough to get a few dollars to eat from someone.

People have become such greedy little bastards lately. I have a huge, huge habit of giving my money away to other people, especially if they need it. In most instances, they don’t *need* it, but if someone did, I’d try my best to make sure that they had what they DID need. As for these people, which were in my own orchestra, that’s just a total lack of disrespect. Here’s this fat guy, weighing like 30 lbs. more than me, and here’s me, asking for some food while he fills his face up. I got so pissed off. I’m sorry, but I can’t tolerate people’s lack of emotions and their lack of ability to put themselves in the place of someone else.

ARGH, enough whining from me.

So last night I stayed up late, looking at faceplates and all the other good stuff that goes with cars, like speakers, and, well, cars themselves. Went to bed around 11:30, which was too late. I was supposed to go driving in the morning (today, Sunday) so that I can get a driver’s license just a bit sooner, buuuuut…

Krystal told me last night on the phone (around 10:43PM) that it takes 6 months just to process the paperwork and another 6 so that I actually get a license, so that’s going to be totally pointless. I guess I will have to WAIT to get a job until February.

I received a “Fake Internship” with the Legal Team @ ACAD. I basically get to design the website for the Legal Program, which would be interactive to a very high level, as far as viewing which classes (excuse me, lawyers) have trials and when in the mock trial room (excuse me– court. ;), and transcripts of the court reporters. I had done that, personally, on my own time, last January-March. I was really bored, and enjoyed court-reporting.

We’re also planning on mixing in videos to the site with the Law students as they do the mock-Court-TV-style interviews and such. It should be a rather large undertaking. I just hope my teacher doesn’t read this part… I hope I get paid! I need money. My mom is no longer working overtime, and my grandmother is leaving on Monday, so that means we won’t be spending extra on garage sales, clothes, food, and cooling costs *whew*… but, I would still really appreciate getting a job as far as it being during school. Especially for what they’re asking. That sounds like I should make between $400 to $1,000 because of all the interactivity going on.

All right. I’ll let all you guys rest while I look at new stereos, speakers, cars, and then figuring out how I’ll pay for all of it.

Zack’s muh buddy! (:
**Added @ 1:41PM** I posted this on my online-friend-buddy’s Xanga… I thought it had some relevance to being greedy, so without further ado….

Without me thinking too deep (my brain may explode), you mentioned something interesting about spending extravagently for something which, when compared to eternity, really isn’t long at all.

When you say “good”, though, a lot of us interpet that to exactly what you don’t want: money, cool shiny clothes, cars, electronics, and of course, a very very nice pair of shoes.

I think it just keeps us occupied. If cars and all that stuff did NOT exist, ta-da! we would be a third-world country.

Why not take advantage of the stuff you have?

Now, to whine over things you don’t have, after already living in a house with a roof, and an expensive TV, computer, blah blah blah (cars, etc.), that is something that nauseates me.

Even with clothes, though, you can (for example) go on eBay and get a preppy, classy AE shirt for about $10. Go figure.

Just as we’re trying to look more extravagent, there are ways to do it for less money. In reality, we don’t *want* to spend money. A lot of people feel that such is what makes them happy.

I personally think that a good personal conversation with just about anyone is worth way more than the hot Acura RSX that I want *Drools* … Just kidding (:

It’s always… nice to dream… but when our dreams get in the way of reality, what life are we really living?

Apparently I’ve used this subject line before.

Today was a really odd day, but in a really good (weird?) way.

It seems like, now that I think back, nothing bad happened. I didn’t get mad at anyone, no one got angry at me. Everything was smooth. As for everyone else’s day, their day didn’t seem to go too well.

I felt as if I ignored Zack a lot today, but that was mainly because I’m talking to Antonio again. Though it sounds harsh, it seems that every time I stop talking to him he learns a lot of good life lessons (that you all should be learning as well) and we end up having less problems the next time around. Regardless, I’ve always been his friend–I am just talking to him again.

Zack wanted a lot of website help and as I said, I seriously did not show enough respect. I received way too many IMs from people and I don’t think I exactly made him feel important *He’s the uber-important person evar!* … I’m sure he knows that.

Oddly enough, being nice has many advantages. You get a lot of girls to hug you. Just wait, kids, until December.

And yes, ladies, Oscar (AOL’s AIM Server) was undergoing some maintenance and had a few servers down. Oops. That’s why you might not have been able to load your buddy list or check a profile.

Oh, but, seriously, about today. Holy crap, it went so smoothly.
I love it when people don’t reject me for being myself. No one made me feel uncomfortable, and almost entirely, no one said anything dumb.

I went to my Fall Festival rehearsal for Orchestra… We got there 30 minutes late. So, we all made up stories about why, and laughed so much on the way there. I was the center of attention for most of it. I felt special.
While I was on my way home on the bus, I saw on a convenience store wall: “your gay” … Please, if you’re going to spraypaint, use the right your (in this case, the right one would be “you’re”)

I keep wanting to make a new site design but repeatedly forget. Boo-hoo on me. Tis enough rambling for today, yo. *Peace sign* etc.