edward fox’s reality

Let’s find out what’s happened in my week. To be frank, not much (that I can remember).

Monday was boring. Tuesday was annoying. Wednesday was semi-satisfying. But, there are just some things that just shouldn’t be mentioned

That is all for now… Until next post. (And yes, Don’t worry–It will be longer.)

Rated TV-14 for Mature Content.

Two nights ago, I went to sleep rather early. I guess I was just too tired of staring at a computer. Go figure. I woke up a few minutes late, but truly maintained my schedule, and accomplished everything I wanted to this morning. That doesn’t go for last night. I didn’t complete my English homework, mainly since I can barely understand any literature. I’m just that stupid!

[2 Images were Duped– Deleted!]

I’m taking the SATs soon. I don’t know on what day, but I need to study seriously for that thing. Serious, right, and I put it off this long–lovely.

Procrastination. I’m one of the most guilty of this deadly attribute. It’s also a really long word. Who likes really long words associated with them?

I know in one of my longest personal endeavors of losing weight (my biggest problem with my self-image) I may have succeeded, but not nearly as much as I need to. That’s why I’ll probably consider making a little chart that follows my progress on numerous fronts. Some of those, of course, will not be as public. With that said, I’ll post all of them, but simply require a password the whole page. If you track my progress with me, then there’s bound to be something interesting, right?

Just, one of the problems with change is, change. A lot of people say to never change who you are. Let’s face facts, though–we’re all changing anyway. Our attitude, mindset, abilities, intelligence, whether in a positive or negative direction. The “direction” that each one is is up to you… if you get what I’m saying. Sometimes, it’s better to adapt to the environment around you. Now, if one part is changing for the better, but other parts of that environment refuse to change, there’s been a kink in the effectiveness of that person’s abilities, so it seems that you are ruining it for them because you didn’t change! I’m not saying, however, that you should allow other people to control WHAT you should change about yourself. My list of self-improvements can go on, and some of them (not many, and certainly not all) are in progress, so I’m getting there, slowly.

Being Accepted. Isn’t that lovely? We’re not speaking about it in the college sense. We all want to be accepted by other people, but due to one reason or another, it doesn’t happen. Or maybe, (get ready for it…) we simply care too much.

In my recent ‘investigations’, if you will, I’ve found that the more you care, the less you get in return. Now now now! This is not to say that if the other person already cares about you equally that this will be beneficial at all, because it will not. However, not caring as much will cause you to not be affected by certain situations. Yes, it is good to care, when the other person shows the same level of caring.

>>>If this doesn’t make sense, it shouldn’t. So, ignore everything I’ve just typed, and we’ll try again, with a better level of organization. And, yes, I’m serious.

Last night, I went to sleep rather early. I guess I was just too tired of staring at a computer. Go figure. I woke up a few minutes late, but truly maintained my schedule, and accomplished everything I wanted to this morning. That doesn’t go for last night. I didn’t complete my English homework, mainly since I can barely understand any literature. I’m just that stupid!

I’m taking the SATs soon. I don’t know on what day, but I need to study seriously for that thing. Serious, right, and I put it off this long–lovely.

I don’t know why it is that I put things off. Maybe because I feel I can never reach my goal, and if I do get closer to it, I just set stricter standards for myself and end up failing. So, what really is the best thing to do for myself? Simply back off and let life take control? In certain situations, but what about the rest?

The simple solution, stop procrastinating and push myself.

I know for years, I’ve expected people to change for me, which is just plain ignorant. The only one that should cause change is either someone you care about (oh here we go again) or someone that you know would cause a positive change in your life, simply by you listening to them. Are all changes that we make positive? It may be, for the time being. And, that’s the whole point.

I hear so much talk about wanting to get older, wanting to go to college. Why? Why do you not want to be free of debts and burdens, and less responsibility? Like a brilliant scholar (or a teenage kid named David Wilkins [go back in time… scroll down or go back a few pages to find references back to Aug 21st, 2004]) said, “You’re only [16/17] once.” Even though he might have suggested such, we always see little kids happy. Ever see a little boy or girl slice up their wrists or drink alcohol to make the pain go away? No. Some say it’s because our hormones naturally cause our bodies to get all freaked out at this age… unfortunately, there’s only documentation on such an idea starting in the Mid-50’s. Maybe society has progressed too quickly for us to keep up, or maybe, just maybe, we’re moving to fast for ourselves, and the rest of the world.

Maybe it’s time for all of us to show a little respect for one another (this is not a song lyric, I promise) and give a hug. Lol. That sounds homosexual, but… consider, whenever someone hugs you, it’s obvious that they care about you, right? Let’s all trying to show that we care more. That’s like, my lesson for this month. Caring. It’s a pretty big lesson when you think about it. We all have heard that most people are too busy worrying about what other people think about them while those people worry about what other people think. This ignorance and lack of our own feelings and emotions causes many of us to simply not know what the hell is going on with ourselves. We all act confused, but simply taking some time out every day to think, just a little, can cause people to really see what’s going on with themselves.

So, why be self-centered? This can be a bad thing, if you are worried about your self image (which is not really self-centeredness–it’s simply worrying about what other people think about you again) then you are not alone, and you realize that other people do matter, and can affect your decisions daily. This does not mean that they should be the ones who CHOOSE how you dress, act, whom you speak to. It simply implies that doing certain things causes you to become closer to certain people, and that is fine. You just need to be pleased, and know that you are comfortable with who you are.

I am obviously not comfortable with my weight, among many MANY other attributes… but, that will all be solved shortly…

So let’s talk about what was not mentioned that happened this week, at random. On Tuesday, I went to College Night, and randomly bumped into David yet again! THe week as a whole was rather irritating, since I was sick and people acted like they didn’t care.

On Friday, a fat substitute decided to send me to Mr. Reyes’ office… he still hasn’t called me, but will ‘get around to it’ on Monday.

I apparently forgot about the Fiesta Night at University of Texas at Dallas… and we reserved for tomorrow, but my mother whined for about 30 minutes incoherently on how she’ll have to drive 20 additional miles. I can sort of understand but she said I have no respect for people… I simply forgot. Everyone thinks I have no respect! I do! I’m trying.

That is all for today.

Rated TV-14 for Mature Content. Mature Images. Mature Language.

The Next Big Thing.

What is the next big thing? I don’t know, but it’s coming. Ha.

Before I continue, that’s right! It’s time for more pictures. Enjoy them.

Yesterday, it was a really odd day. Mainly because of the way I was treated. If you keep up with me at all (or talk to me) then you know I’m attempting to be a nice person. If you haven’t noticed, well, you simply haven’t talked to me Anyway, it’s unfortunate that even if you are respectful to people, they can’t really see that you are respectful to them. So does this void the purpose of being nice? Is that why everyone is rude to one another now (it seems)?

If you gave up that easily, you’d be a loser.

The amount of disrespect has greatly increased over the past few years, and there _seems_ to be no single factor that causes it… Whether it’s because someone treated us badly and we think we must get revenge by treating them and others badly the same or worse, or because we simply don’t have time to be nice and automatically assume the worse, I’m not sure. All I know is this makes life incredibly challenging.

I feel rejected quite easily, so if you, say (this happened yesterday) say you’ll eat lunch with me everyday then halfway through it walk off to another table where I can’t even see you and you don’t tell me, I might feel a little disappointed. The world can’t be perfect, but we can do our best to make it so. This is a clear example of what NOT to do if you want to show that you care about someone and if you are their friend, that’s just rude!

So let’s find a point for all this rambling.

Back to t3h topic of Zack: He’s my best friend, but as he’s shown me, I think we both need to find other people to talk to as well. I know that with his past girlfriend she was uber-clingy, and I’d like to think that I’m not like that. I’m pretty sure that I’m not like that. I have tried to form new friends, but perhaps, I’m looking in the wrong direction. What I don’t get is why everyone can’t be like Zack. You are pleased and happy when people talk to you… he definitely does his part to make other people feel better. Due to confidentiality with every AIM conversation I have, let’s just say I was especially flattered during one specific (but many many other) time(s), but that’s the whole point. He’s straight, if you didn’t know this already, just so there are no confusing thoughts here. What’s interesting is, even though he is straight, he’ll still show respect and emotions/affection to people he cares about.

Now, in this overly saturated world of AIM, MSN, and other chat clients, and combining that technology with e-mail, we live in a world where we must make less use of our knowledge, our emotions, our vocabulary, to express how we feel. Few people want to take an immense amount of time out of their day simply to write about how they feel. I know I would, but then again, I just care too much. [Random Thought: I think I should run spell-check on all these posts eventually…Heh.]

Moving on, if there’s one thing I don’t like in people, it’s too much maturity. Mature people are just simply annoying, especially when they apply a thick coat of bull over their attitude just so that they can seem intelligent and mature. Eventually (if you do try this) you’ll seem stupider than you already are, simply for trying that. Ha! What a thought.

Why don’t I like mature people? Well, I like to maintain a certain level of freedom. On Wednesday, in my 2nd law class (Mr. GEAR), we had to go to a Mock Mini-Press Conference. I was the one with the flash camera, and I kept pointing it at this one girl who thought she was too “smart” to not have it pointed at her again. Not only was she acting too intelligent, but she was acting as if she was grown up. I understand, mainly because I used to be like that. Then, Mr. Gear makes a lovely little comment. He said something along the lines of “We’re here so that you can get hired for a job, not for stuff like that” in a semi-nice way. I was thinking to myself… I don’t ever want to be entirely serious. Serious is boring. So, I guess that’s it for the Law area! Just like on Legally Blonde, I’m sure most law studiers/people in the legal profession are quite boring and have way too much work to do. My mother told me money is extremely important after I told her that I didn’t want to get a job to make a rediculous amount of money but not be happy.

My whole purpose is to be pleased with what goes on in my life. I do my part to keep the happiness going. I try to share it. Some people reject it… That’s fine. Others accept it. If you do accept it, and you certainly know who you are (probably an equal balance of guys and girls at this point) I thank you. It shows *gasp* maturity. But, maturity in a way that makes people feel better about themselves or for the moment is definitely something we should all attempt to acheive.

If you don’t agree, you’re just plain EEEEVIL!

If you actually take the time out of your busy day to read all of my little ramblings, thank you I feel special.

Sometimes, I ask people to make a comment on my blog. I don’t do it to endlessly spam people, but rather, I would value their input on something I’ve written. Most of them, however, can’t spend 30 seconds (awwww) to click the link to place comments and such. Such a tragedy, no? I know I would comment on yours. One exception: Dial-up Users. It’d take them around 2-3 minutes simply to LOAD the dark index. The light index, not so much. Anyway, That is all the time I have for now to discuss.

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The following are drug policy/drug control acts which you should oppose!

http://actioncenter.drugpolicy.org/action/index.asp?step=2&item=11060

Another little act… I published one of these notices a few weeks ago. This is another one that would attempt to stop publically performed events…

Earlier this year, backdoor politics led to the RAVE Act being signed into law making it easier for law enforcement to arrest event holders for the drug offenses of their patrons. Live entertainment will be furthered endangered if the Ecstasy Awareness Act, anti-rave legislation broadening the RAVE Act, passes Congress.

Like the RAVE Act, this piece of legislation, currently being considered by Congress, could effectively ban live music and dancing while throwing innocent people like you in jail. If enacted, HR 2962 could prevent you from hearing your favorite band or DJ live.

Section 2 of the bill declares:

`(c) Whoever profits monetarily from a rave or similar electronic dance event, knowing or having reason to know that the unlawful use or distribution of a controlled substance occurs at the rave or similar event, shall be fined not more than $500,000 or imprisoned not more than 20 years, or both. If the defendant is an organization, the fine imposable for the offense is not more than $2,000,000.’

Because drug use is a common occurrence at many musical events, this provision will leave the door open for any concert promoter, event organizer, or nightclub owner to be fined and jailed. Under the provisions of the Ecstasy Awareness Act, it doesnâ??t matter if the event promoter and property owner tried to prevent people from using drugs. Nor does it matter if the vast majority of people attending the event are law-abiding citizens that want to listen to music and not do drugs.

I encourage YOU (yes, you!) to personally fill out the form… there’s already a few paragraphs written, and once you fill out one form it can save your information so that when I do this again, all you need to fill in is your e-mail address– how great is that?

Go to it now… http://actioncenter.drugpolicy.org/action/index.asp?step=2&item=11060

Here’s another similar one:

http://actioncenter.drugpolicy.org/action/index.asp?step=2&item=10378

Like the RAVE Act, this piece of legislation currently being considered by congress could effectively ban live music and dancing, while throwing innocent people like you in jail. If enacted, H.R. 834 could prevent you from hearing your favorite band or DJ live. Every musical style would be affected, including rock and roll, Hip Hop, country, and electronic music. The proposed law could also shut down hemp festivals, circuit parties, and other events government officials donâ??t like. Both bills would allow overzealous prosecutors to send innocent people to jail for the crimes of others.

The CLEAN-UP Act (H.R. 834) will pass this year without your help. H.R. 834 was first introduced last year, but it failed to make it out of committee. This yearâ??s bill has nearly 100 co-sponsors and will quickly become law unless you act now! Sponsored by Rep. Doug Ose (R-CA), the â??Clean, Learn, Educate, Abolish, and Undermine Production (CLEAN-UP) of Methamphetamines Actâ? is largely an innocuous bill that provides more money and training for the clean up of illegal methamphetamine lab. However, hidden within the bill, is a draconian section that will allow any concert promoter, event organizer, nightclub owner and arena or stadium owner to be fined and jailed for the crimes of their patrons.

Section 305 of the CLEAN-UP Act stipulates that: ‘Whoever, for a commercial purpose, knowingly promotes any rave, dance, music, or other entertainment event, that takes place under circumstances where the promoter knows or reasonably ought to know that a controlled substance will be used or distributed in violation of Federal law or the law of the place where the event is held, shall be fined under title 18, United States Code, or imprisoned for not more than 9 years, or both.’

This provision will allow any concert promoter, event organizer, nightclub owner and arena or stadium owner to be fined and jailed, since a reasonable person would know some people use drugs at musical events. Under the provisions of the CLEAN-UP Act, it doesnâ??t matter if the event promoter and property owner tried to prevent people from using drugs. Nor does it matter if the vast majority of people attending the event are law-abiding citizens that want to listen to music not do drugs. If enacted, this bill could be used to shut down raves, circuit parties, marijuana rallies, unpopular music concerts, and any other event federal officials donâ??t like.

If you want to read the full text of the Act… http://www.drugpolicy.org/docUploads/The_CLEAN_UP_Act_HR_834.pdf (Adobe Acrobat format)…

Stop this piece of legislation! You enjoy music, don’t you? Fix it! http://actioncenter.drugpolicy.org/action/index.asp?step=2&item=10378

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The following is a news article about the gaming company Sierra On-Line and Valve… among other trademarked names:

Now, with Half-Life 2 being released shortly, an extremely lengthy court battle continues… court dates looming overhead:

On August 14, 2002, Valve served its then-publisher Sierra On-Line (now Sierra Entertainment, a Vivendi Universal Games brand) with a lawsuit in the US District Court of Washington, Western Division, alleging copyright infringement–the result of Sierra placing Valve games in Internet cafés in the US and abroad. “Sierra has in the past and continues to reproduce, use, distribute, and/or license one or more of the Valve Games with regard to ‘cyber cafés,’” the complaint read. “Sierra’s activities are outside the scope of Sierra’s limited license…and therefore constitute copyright infringement in violation of the Copyright Act of 1976.”

Since that filing, more than a dozen lawyers have left their stamp on the more than 200 documents and exhibits (the most recent filed just last week) that have crossed the desk of the honorable Thomas S. Zilly, the judge mediating the dispute.

“Valve sued Vivendi for copyright infringement back in 2002 over their unauthorized distribution of our products to cyber cafés,” Lombardi told GameSpot last Friday. “We later had to add breach of contract claims for, among other things, refusing to pay us royalties owed and delaying Condition Zero out of the holiday season.”

Why do they care? Just get over it. They are promoting your software. Blah! And it is not like they are violating the licenses… just another case of companies wanting to make more money.

——————————
Back to the real world.

On the topic of me, the rest of my day was interesting. I think little kids entertain me, and my social area of my brain is so underdeveloped that it’s not even funny. Actually, it is! Watch me laugh.

Comments on pictures and my day, messages, etc., are greatly appreciated and you may be rewarded… Sex? Money $$$? Lovely!

Rated TV-MA for Nudity. Mature Language. Mature Content. Viewing/Reading Disretion is Advised.

Before you start, I’m going to insert random pictures of people… that are just plain interesting, moving (as far as gets you to think … maybe because of what they are wearing [or aren’t?!], how their emotions appear to me/us, etc), or provocative, or just plain hot!

****UPDATE: The infamous question(s): So who are these people? Do you know them?****

I know some of them. I don’t know some of them. I’ve fucked some of them. Take your pic. Good gracious! It’s adult night at my blog tonight.

Let’s talk about what I did Monday…

I woke up, early, on time. What a lovely start to the morning.

I ate two breakfasts… then went to my first period class. I got some work done (as I always do, you know!) I’m just loving this. Then, second period came, did no work, but that’s how I like it. Then, third period. Ah, the perfect period. There was this little freshman and I had alwyas looked over at him, thinking he’d be nice to talk to. (General Audience Note: Don’t make any assumptions…) Eventually he walked over to me, and we really didn’t talk that much. (This is all during PE, third period, mind you.) He sat next to me, sort of. Well, by the end of the class, he was. I felt this weird little connection, as if we wanted to talk to each other. Who knows? Maybe I’ll end up being his friend. Fourth period, I turned in homework with 2 words on it. I laughed, but I don’t know if Mrs. Welech did. Regardless, I thought it was still enterta

ining. I did my homework for today’s class, though. 3 pages of rambling things I really wasn’t interested in. I seem to be having a greater problem doing assignments that I have no interest in now than I did before. I guess I’m just becoming lazier.

I don’t ask for much in our large world. I just ask that you show me just a little respect and I’ll give you back more than you can ever imagine. If you don’t believe it, you must not believe in me. With that said, let’s ramble about what I did on Tuesday.

5th period was nothing special, if not boring. 6th period has crunch time with a project. We had 30 minutes to put a PPT together from previous classes of information we had gathered on a place that we would provide tour information to. That was interesting. Apparently I didn’t actually SEND the file in Digital Drop Box (Blackboard merda [my word for sh*t], don’t worry), and instead just PLACED it in there. She still counted it as on time, though, so that was pleasant. 7th Period was the class I actually did my homework in… most of it, so I felt accomplished once more. The previous day, for social reasons. Today, for intellectual reasons… life’s still going dandy.

When I got home I started doing the homework for English class… slowly but surely it was accomplished. I listened to LaunchCast, and wound up playing my favorite song… well, both of my favorite songs, for this month, anyway. My all-time favorite artist and songs are done by Ravers on Dope, so check that out.

Today had started off decently. I woke up on time and got out of the house about a minute late or so, so hopefully that won’t annoy the karma of the rest of the day. I get to do the same perfect alignment of periods 1-2-3 (let’s ignore 4 [English] and 7.. 7 = Nimitz, my last period every day–Orchestra)… we’ll see how well that goes. I heard that we actually have a *real* PE teacher! Oh joy! Now, this means our complete and total free time sessions every class period have come to a close… they will be missed, cherished, but I have more than enough haphpy elements to replace what will soon depart.

–> Ha! This is my update, as of … well, late at night. 3rd Period was horrid (Did I predict it or didn’t I?) … so was my morning once I got off the bus. Someone just pissed me off badly. It wasn’t funny, or cool, but rather, extremely offensive. He knows who he is, and that’s that.

During PE my friend wasn’t in there, so during lunch he wasn’t in there either, so I sat with basically all freshmen. Ow, the pain. And, then the freshman I liked most, decided to leave while I was in the food line and go to another table… Oh I felt incredibly loved.

It’s time for another rambling entry. Again, it’s taking place on the bus. So, what should this one be about? Maybe about… positivity.

When is positivity a good thing? When is it something that should not be had? Though no one’s an expert on topics such as this, I’ll attempt to perhaps clear it up just a little.

As many of you know, I used to be completely negative with all of my thoughts, even if they were coming from someone I cared about or enjoyed being around. I’m not going to name specific individuals, but specific situations might reveal such information. Regardless, the point of me saying this isn’t to show how I might have felt in a past situation, but rather, for other people to gain knowledge from my mistakes. Because, after all, you can’t learn only from your mistakes. You must learn from the mistakes of others as well. You simply can’t live long enough to make all the mistakes yourself, and if you do, you’ll probably end up killing yourself in the process.

Positivity is one of those things that we rarely see now. We’re naturally expecting something bad. This mindset is all too common among all age groups now. There are so many bad things happening around us in the world. Of course, this doesn’t entirely change our view on reality, but it certainly does change our way of thinking when it comes to making everyday decisions. Regardless of how small a decision may seem (we’ve all seen those time travel programs when someone goes back in time and accidentally steps on a bug!), it always affects the big picture. The big picture can be your life, your friend’s life, the world… how do we know? We don’t, but then again, we shouldn’t.

So why is thinking negatively a bad thing? From my previous point of view, I would automatically assume the worst. It would usually never happen, but then that made my future perception of the situation more positive, but still negative. The always-assume-the-worst might have been the best approach… safer, but was it? Besides medical studies proving that people who are generally negative in life will have shorter lifespans than people who are more positive, negative people generally just aren’t that interesting. Their wit and insulting comments may be cool, but at the rate that today’s generation is inhaling the ignorance (not literally! yet…) we’re moving at much too quick a pace to keep up with the balance of intelligence and stupidity. Intelligence being positive and asserting your thoughts accurately and stupidity being people who allow others to shape how they are and what they think. Yes, we understand peer pressure exists, but what is its purpose? Does anyone really WANT to be pressured? So, why do we all keep doing it?….

Peer pressure is certainly not anything positive, or anything to be happy with. I personally believe that in order to be happy, you have to think how you want to. Obviously, people who wear certain types of skater clothes to just be able to hang out with people that skate are not only pathetic, but they are also not thinking for themselves.

I don’t want to make this one too long, since too often I’m not a positive person. But, if you are a positive person, it may end up hurting you sometimes, but you will end up being happier because you were expecting satisfaction from a situation. If you’re not expecting it, though, doesn’t that sort of work against your efforts? Too often we think that we are the ones that are not good enough for someone, or not good enough to accomplish the task at hand. But who knows? We might just be the person that person wants and didn’t know it yet, or the person with new and innovative ways to approach the situation to make it work for you, us, and everyone…

The point? Dream big, accomplish on the same scale, and never underestimate. Anything is possible. Oh, and, learn from other’s mistakes because life is not long enough for you to make them all yourself.

Now, since I know we don’t all love reading large blocks of text, it’s time to view a few images of people. Be advised, some images contain mature material (hence the post’s rating), so viewer disretion is advised!

This took loads of time to find. I have larger versions of most images… If you are interested, drop a comment… or whatnot. If you think positivity is a nice thing, then comment about that, too.

Just, today went absolutely … crappy. Lol. No one really acts like they want to talk to me. *Sigh* Tomorrow is another day… another way. I wish Zack was here. =/
Hah. This is a nice way to end thuh night.

fckt3hDEA: well atleast you arnt dead?
fckt3hDEA: =)
INTELligence boi: aww

*Sigh*

Here’s myself.

So disturbing. I’m not all cool, and such. And I’m the only non-skinny person Haha. Later now.

If you’re coming here from Hydra’s Journal, scroll down for the other previous entry. It’s more interesting… then read this one!

—Back to regular content.—

Rated TV-PG for Mild Language. Reality. Reader Disretion is Barely Advised.

If I had hair that could do it, I’d let it do it.

If you don’t want this picture up here e-mail copyright-protection -@t- drnx [dot] net — thanks in advance

Anyway, this is by far one of the most amusing conversations I’ve had in awhile. I’ll share it with you… Shhh… Pasted with permission from original author(s):
l0st in reality06: ok..so let me get this str8
INTELligence boi: good luck
INTELligence boi: Lol, jk
l0st in reality06: ur a smart guy who missed 1 question on the PSAT but u were mean as hell and got head and laid and shit b4
l0st in reality06: and ur really into computers
INTELligence boi: lol.
INTELligence boi: It’s my life, in a nutshell!
l0st in reality06: haha
l0st in reality06: u dun seem that tough
INTELligence boi: *growls*
INTELligence boi: *flexes muscles*
l0st in reality06: but looks can b decieving
INTELligence boi: ill take u on bitch tell me when and where
l0st in reality06: lol
INTELligence boi:
l0st in reality06: lmao
INTELligence boi: I’m too lazy to fight, lmao.
l0st in reality06: haha

More things are realized… not necessarily relating to that conversation.

I realized, as I was talking to David today (OH JOY MORE REALIZATION AND IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS! Lol. It’s all g00d, y0), he told me something that made me think yet again. No I’m not getting emo on everyone again, Lol. He was stating that he thought we had had (ugh, damn doubled words) a number of ‘good conversations’, as we called them… I always thought I never had anything interesting to say, but apparently, I had. That sort of makes me feel better today.

But whyyyyy does it make me feel better? I don’t know. See, I occasionally mention this, but I like it when guys let me talk about anything with them or let me do what I want to with them. Besides the perverse things you are thinking… Let’s delve moderately deep into my swimming pool of reality.

When I like a girl, I become excessively clingly with them. When I start caring about a guy (as far as a friend, kids! Now now…) I get incredibly close to them. To some narrow-minded outsiders, it might appear as if I’m hitting on them. So, let’s take it from an outsider’s point of view. No, let’s not. I’ll interpret it as I see fit.

During PE I was sitting next to this guy, and I have this … well, not attraction. That sounds perverse once more, but, it’s just a thing I have towards people that smile. If you smile a lot, I’d love to be your friend. If you look decent (guy or girl) I’ll be your friend… It’s not that I don’t like ugly people (I’ve mentioned this before), but they just don’t like me. We don’t mix. I don’t know if I’m that pretty either, but I think that since I’m half-hispanic and half-white, I can pretty mix with any group of people imaginable on Earth.

If you didn’t know that about me, thou learned something new. Moving on.

I just uberly enjoyed being with him. It’s quite nice to have someone that enjoys talking to you as much as you enjoy talking to them….

Let’s build on that communication topic. You know, the most important emotions in communication aren’t expressed through words? Most people could care less if you look bored and tired when you say “I love you.” Just smiling at someone when they talk speaks a million words. Showing you care is just one of those little things that makes the day seem so perfect. So, fking, perfect.

I love you all.

A little bit of help goes out to some people who don’t read this blog and don’t know it exists, but… Tim, Gerrardo/Jared (whichever), David… Alyssa Hydra, Zuri… *hug for j00!*… Zackie of course, the most uberly-awesome-cool person known to exist.

Now, some beautiful pictures of Alyssa.

Lovely isn’t she

That’s all for tonight. Take care of yourselves.

Rated TV-PG for Mild Mature Content.

Before I get to the regular topics, why not explain why I chose this design?… It’s a little bit of personal mixed with reality.

If you’ve ever been to a rave, then you know how friendly and accepting everyone is, hence why I chose this design. The theme “relax” goes perfect with a rave, and what makes it more carefree is the drug usage. Of course, this could be interpreted wrong, but it also shows the elements that anything is acceptable at a rave. I could ramble on, but if you know more, no point in telling you less. Hope you like it.

Now, to the regular blog.

I haven’t updated since Friday. My apologies. As you might have noticed, there’s a new blog design. I slowly… well, read the updates part. Of course you need IE to properly view updates on the homepage, or you can just visit the Updates page.

Anyway, on Saturday…. I started getting as sick as I am now. I am taking medicine for my toe, since it has an interesting infection.

Aside from that, umm, I talked to Zack on the phone. One of my dreams was to talk to him until I fell asleep and unfortunately I was really really falling asleep. I didn’t talk that much, but I tried. It was great talking to him.

Today, I woke up around 9:25. Way too early. I sat finishing my header image for the blog. I talked to Zack a little later on, and I’ll probably call him tomorrow. I hope I don’t have homework due

Not many interesting things to say today… That is all for now.

Now there is more stuff. Look, it’s time for more Zackie pictures. Here we go!

Comment on your own =P

Now, it’s some rarely-seen David Wilkins pictures. (Previous posts mentioning David: http://www.drnx.net/indexlight.php?id=4128b229c0e02 … http://www.drnx.net/indexlight.php?id=4127c67c3222b )

I call them rare because, well, I haven’t posted any of him, since the ones I had were too old and when he came over he made me delete them, Lol. Anyway, here.

Lovely images, no? Etc etc.

Anyway, I’m glad I’m still talking to the person that’s helped me treat people nicer. Lol.

Zack isn’t going to be online tomorrow, so I’m sort of sad about that. He said for me to call him, so I shall… and I still haven’t callen Danny Joun… so sad.

I’m watching “Titanic”… near the end, where that woman is vocalizing. Awww I’m all sad now. I guess I better type out something emo… Lol.

Sometimes, I feel as if no one wants to talk to me. Actually, I feel like that quite often. We’re all too busy in our own little worlds. I’m going to try and finish what I started a few days (like, 3-5) days ago.

Why Yearn for a Relationship?

What is it that triggers us, or forces an urge upon us, to say we love another human being? Whether it be for the wrong reasons… lust, lonliness… or the right reasons… completion, perfection, it’s something many of us want, but something all of us need.

This may sound like I’m about to tell a beautiful story about how Zack and I met *sigh* … Lol. We met because he wanted webhosting. Hardly the beginning of a best-friend-ship novel, eh?

Some of you may think I’m pathetic. I’m madly in love with my best friend. Let’s clean that statement up. I, non-sexually, love him eternally. Though this may have sounded like an easy accomplishment, any relationship needs structure. Unfortunately, many relationships lack this.

Before we continue, you need to know what relationship means. If you wanted to truly get basic, it means the interaction between one person and another (implying additional people), but for the sake of us having a brain that we can use (hopefully), I’ll mold the meaning to be interpreted as an interaction that is wanted between two or more people, regardless of its orientation. Basically saying, your friend and you talk, so you have a relationship. Relationship does not imply that you have to have sex or do anything provocative, if you will. It simply implies that you are in good social standing with whomever you consider to be in a relationship with.

So why do we want a relationship? The concept may seem simple (if you are wrong) or complex (in which situation you are correct!). The reason, however, is rediculously simple. We all want caring, affection. Without it, what are we but emotionless blobs going through life without any reason to live except for our own persons?

Regardless of the kind of relationship you want, you’re in it for the same reasons. This is where my view on friends and other people’s views become incredibly skewed. You see, regardless of the person’s gender, I will treat all my friends equally, and care for them in equal amounts. If you want to interpret that oddly, well, most of you will anyway. But why? That’s how we are now. We’re a society that insists on being rude, disrespectful to another. We ignore others because we are too busy worried about what others think about us… Does that not make sense?

Wonderful! However, maybe by the end, it will. In a world where time is something that there simply isn’t enough of to accomplish anything, we deceive ourselves time and time again. You know, a wise lesbian comedian (Ellen D.) once said, “You know, if we had an extra hour in the day… you know what we’d do with it? Nothing. We’d proscratinate that hour, too.” What does this have to do with relationships, though? If you don’t see the connection, it’s that… They take time.

Communication takes time. Unfortunately, time isn’t something we want to take advantage of. Or maybe it is, but we just don’t think it’s the right moment.

This article/topic is far from finished. When I gather more time, I’ll type out more about it…

Jumping back to previous topic… It seems that the only person that actually wants to talk to me is Zack. I’m just too out-of-place… or will that change? I wonder.

–Update on 9/20/04 @ 8:50AM–
Now, relationships involve a great deal of effort and devotion. Let’s talk about relationships in which you may at one point become romantically involved. (Collectively called “romantic relationships”). Unfortunately, many people think that simply sharing their body instead of their thoughts is the solution to all this, while making everyone a happier person, and no one’s the wiser. Unfortunately, this simply isn’t true. Early in relationships, communication is key, even before you actually go out. I know it may not make sense, but the main reason many of us feel empty if we’re not in a relationship is because someone is no longer there to care about our every emotion, our every pain, and our every pleasure.

We try to work harder every time to replace–no, scratch that–change the style of people of people we go out with when compared to people we have previously gone out with. If you went out with someone who (for example) liked puppy dogs, you will no longer want someone that (for example) had many puppy dogs, or (for example) worked at a puppy dog adoption center. Since I’ve learned from previous relationships, I’ve also thought that the other person wasn’t always to blame. However, in any relationship I’ve been in, romantic or not, I’ve usually been the person who cares more about the other person. I can only think of one person that recently cares more about me than I care about them. That does not mean that I simply do not care about them.

But most people just don’t care anymore. What is it? What’s wrong with showing that you care by… being nice? Now, it seems relationships are just hugging on each other, asking each other what’s up (and not really caring about the response), and making out in public to ’show [your] affection.’ People, please! A romantic relationship is not simply based on the fact that you HAVE to show the romantic side of it every waking moment. More importantly, romantic moments should be something that are cherished more than anything else, and if that is all that you do, then we have a problem!

Let’s go back to the element of communication applying to all relationships. I’ve repeatedly stressed both caring and communication elements throughout my little, rambling short story.

So how do we communicate better? Though there really is no set way, it’s just a matter of getting involved in deeper conversations. Today’s generation thinks that shallow conversations without a purpose are exactly what we all need, when in reality, we are simply dumbing down each other with every slang word we speak. Don’t get me wrong. There is a time and a place for every word, but using slang on a regular basis is simply not the most intelligent thing to do. I’m not ‘dissing’ it, if that’s what you are thinking, Yo!

Moving on, communication is one of those things that really require a person-to-person approach. So, consider spending more time with individual people. (Hm, romantic relationships [usually] only involve two people! Getting my point yet?…) The real, deep, juicty conversations don’t really happen in large groups. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing to be in large groups with people, because that builds your conversational topics even more. So, let’s review. You not only should talk to more people individually, but you should also expand your topics, whether that be from groups, TV, sports, games, computers, just expand! However, simply pulling from one of the main categories of communication (like Entertainment, Sports, News, Technology) will simply not do.

Now, let’s go back to caring. How can we care more? One of the main elements of caring is the fact that you communicate. Without it, you can’t really EXPRESS how you feel. Saying “I love you” won’t cut it anymore, but most of us think it will. I recently heard about a break-up between one of my friends and a girl. She had been whining about him in a previous class (Hopefully she won’t see this!) and said a bunch of things that really didn’t seem like they were in a relationship. They broke up a day or so later (I believe) and got back together. She had begged him for an hour. This is just out of line. You must always plan ahead, and her method of communication was most likely invalid to her feelings (if the @#$^$ has any). When I asked him, he stated it was accurate that she had said “I love you” many more times than she said “I care about you.” What’s the point? You can go around and think you love someone.

The real challenge is actually caring about them, and once you communicate with them enough, especially during the relationship, things will go much nicer. Remember, nothing can replace good old, simple communication. Not even sex.

Zack’s back online. That’s always an awesome sight.

My site opens tomorrow, so I need to get it all… well, I need to add SOMETHING! You’ll have to find out just what I am adding…

For now, that is all I have… I have taken more pictures of Zack… so we’ll send those out in a day or so, once the site is back.

Talk to you then.

ZACK = sh1tz0rz

Btw, amazing song. http://launch.yahoo.com/song/default.asp?songID=3321087

Rated TV-PG for Mature Content. Mild Language. How oddness!

Not only am I in pain physically, but I am so incredibly bored, but sad…

Zack hasn’t signed on/been on AIM/Y! yesterday or today… really bummed about that yo! *flashes gang signs*… etc….

http://launch.yahoo.com/song/default.asp?songID=3321087
http://launch.yahoo.com/song/default.asp?songID=3333784

*gets emo when he hears first song*… Lol.

Anyway, fkin missin’ ZACK! (inside joke?) BAD.

My eyes and head hurt, and my toe is somehow spliced up semi-bad. Toe Surgery? That would be lame… We’ll find out tomorrow when I visit the doctor’s office, etc…

If you see this zack, I

I need to do this shortly and efficiently.

I’m currently listening to LaunchCastPLUS (Woot?) Anyway, Umm, Let’s see.

My phone is currently out. Has been for about 2 or 3 days…

Zack didn’t sign in today, so I’m sad about that…

I’m working on a longer blog. Here’s a preview…

Why Yearn for a Relationship?

What is it that triggers us, or forces an urge upon us, to say we love another human being? Whether it be for the wrong reasons… lust, lonliness… or the right reasons… completion, perfection, it’s something many of us want, but something all of us need…

Just wait for the rest… oh… and…

I wanna say HEY to my local best friend Chris Sypien! (:

However, no one can ever replace my Zack! Awesome dude! Best friends for-evuh buddy

THAT IS ALL.

Collectively Rated TV-14 for Suggestive Material. Adult Content.

WELCOME…

It’s a few days later than when I planned to post these. So, without further ado, if you will, here are some webcamm’d img’s of Zack’s…self.

BEST FOR LAST…

“I’m too sexy for my shirt.” - Zack.

I love it when people look serious. RAWR.

Disclaimer: He is my best friend and not a random person I found on hotguyswithwebcamsthatarestraight.com … which does not exist.

If you want to complain about the image’s varying sizes, don’t!